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Age of Empires III Heaven » Forums » General Discussions » things that noobs do - discussion
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Topic Subject:things that noobs do - discussion
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White_Korean
Skirmisher
posted 08-13-09 03:21 PM EDT (US)         
well, since i WAS a noob not too recently, I can point out a few stuff lol

1. A noob tries to maintain a 1-2 hour game with just 1 barracks, 1 stable and 1 artillery arsenal building. He wonders why everyone else builds 6 barracsk here, 5 stables here, 2 artillery buildings there, and calls them a noob.

2. A noob tries to maintain a 1-2 hour game, with only 30 settlers, thinking that is plenty, and a higher population can totally uber pwn everyone else.

3. A noob still finds the ability to taunt spam quite entertainting, so each game he joins, he keeps pressing numbers and spams.

4. A noob likes to spam musketeers, thinking they are the best unit. Musketeer is a god unit to them, no upgrades is ok, they can just go veteran, cause veteran is best to them.

5. a noob spams culverins, because they look gold, they must be best, so they are awesome. (they have no damage radius and are weak LOL)

6. A noob is a red lagger, but since he looks green to himself. Calls everyone else out in a 3v3 that all 5 players are lagging red, only to find himself kicked out of the game.

7. For a treaty game, or no rush game, a noob's deck all consists of troops, and only troops.



yeah, i think i mising more. But please share your noob facts too!
I want to wonder if i fit any of the ones that u guys hopefully give out so i can see if i still noob
AuthorReplies:
Droideka_11
Skirmisher
posted 08-13-09 03:23 PM EDT (US)     1 / 68       
1. A noob tries to maintain a 1-2 hour game with just 1 barracks, 1 stable and 1 artillery arsenal building. He wonders why everyone else builds 6 barracsk here, 5 stables here, 2 artillery buildings there, and calls them a noob.
Noob maintains 1-2 hour game period.

"Rot's given a free pass simply because he's Rot." - theferret
prowlers own
Skirmisher
posted 08-13-09 03:36 PM EDT (US)     2 / 68       
You forgot the most important part about noob-being:

A noob doesn't cooperate with his teammates. When in a 3 v 3 and the other 2 decides to rush because the other team consists of booming civ he sit back and comes in after both resigned because their FB was destroyed and it is very clear they gonna loose.
It happened to me not long ago.

GR account: Colonel Corrupt [£eg¡øn]

prowlers own,
and you call yourself a human???
Just another liberal "name caller" cause you HAVE NO FACTS
Sir_Hans
Scenario Expert
posted 08-13-09 04:12 PM EDT (US)     3 / 68       
You forgot that noobs let their settlers collect res instead of going into buildings when they get raided.
dOPplesaurus
Skirmisher
posted 08-13-09 04:17 PM EDT (US)     4 / 68       
on the contrary, most noobs ring the town bell at any sign of trouble, instead of just garrisoning some settlers.
White_Korean
Skirmisher
posted 08-13-09 05:06 PM EDT (US)     5 / 68       
LOL this is great stuff
i reading some of yours and they are hilarious but so true lol, especially prowler owns one, of not cooperating lol.
I once had a noob who, instead of collecting his resources, he got 10 settlers and his explorer, put them in a group, and RUSHED the enemy in the 3v3.
I mean, seriously, his army was 10 settlers and an explorer WTF

Which brings me to one point.

You are a noob if your army consists of 99 settlers or 80 french settlers and u attack the enemy with that >_>
Bart331
Skirmisher
posted 08-13-09 05:57 PM EDT (US)     6 / 68       
i have never seen a noob spam culvs.

Else:

Noobs dont hunt towards tc, they expect you to ignore the fact you see them hunting all over the map through the fog of war.

SUNIL IS NUB!!!

Battle.net:Bart (227)
ESO:Bart331
As_Saffah
Scenario Reviewer
posted 08-13-09 06:03 PM EDT (US)     7 / 68       
Noobs post a lot of threads in the first month or so after they register for HG.

Seriously, I saw a kid the other day in a FFA whose explorer sat by his TC for the entire game. (He didn't last long.)

Crunkatog on ESO
Bart331 balance suggestion: aztec: remove civ
Voltiguer: Ender, Sioux in 1.04 will be a top civ, no matter how many layers of Sioux goggles you put on
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A414A_Incog
Veteran Musketeer I
posted 08-13-09 07:04 PM EDT (US)     8 / 68       
A noob makes topics liek this one.
White_Korean
Skirmisher
posted 08-13-09 07:09 PM EDT (US)     9 / 68       
as saffah and A4, please calm down and stop making sarcastic remarks. well, as saffa actually made a fact. A4 is just being an ass, and just trying to go out and make fun of people cause his whole life, people make fun off him. So please A4 get your head out of your ass and if you dont have anything to contribute, then tell me so I can get my foot out of your mouth.

Well, getting back to topic, what else makes a person a noob?
this is for chuckles remember
not for asses
Eicho
Skirmisher
posted 08-13-09 07:19 PM EDT (US)     10 / 68       
A noob makes topics liek this one
Damn, you beat me to saying that!
CrazyLunatic
Veteran Musketeer
posted 08-13-09 07:57 PM EDT (US)     11 / 68       
A noob makes topics liek this one.
lol

QUACK
BilboBeutlin
Skirmisher
posted 08-13-09 11:02 PM EDT (US)     12 / 68       
A noob becomes quickly angry, if a humorous sarcastic comment meets his tender spot.
DukeLeto
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 00:03 AM EDT (US)     13 / 68       
David_Burt
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 00:08 AM EDT (US)     14 / 68       
this topic is funny cause i remember doing all these things back when i was a noobcake
Mariomasta RJK
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 02:07 AM EDT (US)     15 / 68       
Noobs talk allot about there skill, claim that they are 1st lieutenant on nilla, rank is just low supposedly because they "just started", and suck ass on tad.

But im insulted. I taunt spam all the time cuz of my ADD, does that make me a nub? no. I am an average joe intermediate player . And I rarely end up playing longer than a 25 min game, unless opponent is being a nub and spreading his units so i can search and destroy. I don't like playing 1-2 hr games, boring.

DISTISOP
ESO: Blitzkrieg_Mario
Prefered civs: Hell, I like them all.
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footsoldier
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 04:37 AM EDT (US)     16 / 68       
im a noob, but i know what NR means and it really #$%^&* me off when you get rushed and they think theyve beat you cause you resigned
ReVoLuZzeR
Banned
posted 08-14-09 06:05 AM EDT (US)     17 / 68       
You forgot that noobs let their settlers collect res instead of going into buildings when they get raided.
Sir_Hans you are so hot you want to make out with me i Love you <3
ImperialLobster
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 06:50 AM EDT (US)     18 / 68       
noobs never get vils because they are not economically sensible.

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY
ON
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Nemesis101
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 08:28 AM EDT (US)     19 / 68       
-------------------------------------------------------
5. a noob spams culverins, because they look gold, they must be best, so they are awesome. (they have no damage radius and are weak LOL)
--------------------------------------------------------
You're still a noob if you think this, culverins own :P.
Emperor_Kyle
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 12:48 PM EDT (US)     20 / 68       
I beat dOPplesaurus with a culverin spam, lol. But it was a goofy FFA and nobody was being serious. Culverins are very specialized units, which is a turn-off for a lot of people ("Hmm...they're shiny, but they freaking SUCK"). 2 or 3 is usually enough to cover your artillery problems.

And guys, stop picking on WK. It was funny at first, but he just wanted to post a fun topic. Anyway...

-Noobs spam mercs because they think they're uber powerful.

-Noobs complain if you rush them in FFA

-Noobs play on Amazonia and fill the river with ships until someone's comp can't handle it and slows the battle to a crawl

ESO2: Kyle_The_Brave
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DukeLeto
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 12:52 PM EDT (US)     21 / 68       
dOPplesaurus
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 01:26 PM EDT (US)     22 / 68       
I beat dOPplesaurus with a culverin spam, lol. But it was a goofy FFA and nobody was being serious. Culverins are very specialized units, which is a turn-off for a lot of people ("Hmm...they're shiny, but they freaking SUCK"). 2 or 3 is usually enough to cover your artillery problems.
I didn't resign, my computer died! Also your base was getting pwned by pike spam.
Inert
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 01:40 PM EDT (US)     23 / 68       
Noobs don't advance in age.

Noobs don't upgrade things.

NOOBS DON'T ****ING LISTEN. GOD. SO DAMN ANNOYING. I TOLD YOU TO PWNERIZE THAT OTHER GUY WITH YOUR WHOLE ARMY. NO STOP TRYING TO HELP ME I DON'T NEED IT. LOOK NOW YOUR SETTLERS ARE DYING. GREAT, NOW YOUR DEAD AND I HAVE TO HOLD THEM OFF FOR AN HOUR WITH MY BUILT UP RESOURCES.

Noobs are terrible at treaty (see above)
CunniJA
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 02:07 PM EDT (US)     24 / 68       
Hmmm... seems somebody is coming in to this topic with some baggage.

I remember in the uber noob days that a sarge taught me not to build a house in Discovery and just age with 10 vils and then build during age up. That was pretty stupid.

I also remember the same sarge telling me cannons were for noobs, and of course, like a noob, I listened.

Then, don't forget seeing that you can actually build docks on maps like Bayou and sometimes Great Plains. So, of course most of us probably tried to throw down a few Monitors only to find out that you can place a dock, but you don't have enough room for ships. But, that's not really a noobish move, just an ignorant move. If you never experimented with that, then either somebody told you, or you're just not very curious.
im a noob, but i know what NR means and it really #$%^&* me off when you get rushed and they think theyve beat you cause you resigned
Then get TWC and/or TAD and quit bitching. "NR" was not intended to be a viable game type. After so many noobs complaining about it, Ensemble so was so graciously merciful as to allow you guys to play such a silly game type, so you might as well take advantage of it. Fortunately, Ensemble was honorable enough not to balance that game type as to keep it basically illegitimate.

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"Brilliant cunni simply brilliant"
C_MAG: "CunniJA's post is epic win."

[This message has been edited by CunniJA (edited 08-14-2009 @ 02:10 PM).]

CookieCrisp13
Skirmisher
posted 08-14-09 04:12 PM EDT (US)     25 / 68       
I remember in the uber noob days that a sarge taught me not to build a house in Discovery and just age with 10 vils and then build during age up. That was pretty stupid.

I also remember the same sarge telling me cannons were for noobs, and of course, like a noob, I listened.
Listening and a will to improve is not a quality of a noob

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