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Age of Empires III Heaven » Forums » General Discussions » things that noobs do - discussion
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Topic Subject:things that noobs do - discussion
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White_Korean
Skirmisher
posted 08-13-09 03:21 PM EDT (US)         
well, since i WAS a noob not too recently, I can point out a few stuff lol

1. A noob tries to maintain a 1-2 hour game with just 1 barracks, 1 stable and 1 artillery arsenal building. He wonders why everyone else builds 6 barracsk here, 5 stables here, 2 artillery buildings there, and calls them a noob.

2. A noob tries to maintain a 1-2 hour game, with only 30 settlers, thinking that is plenty, and a higher population can totally uber pwn everyone else.

3. A noob still finds the ability to taunt spam quite entertainting, so each game he joins, he keeps pressing numbers and spams.

4. A noob likes to spam musketeers, thinking they are the best unit. Musketeer is a god unit to them, no upgrades is ok, they can just go veteran, cause veteran is best to them.

5. a noob spams culverins, because they look gold, they must be best, so they are awesome. (they have no damage radius and are weak LOL)

6. A noob is a red lagger, but since he looks green to himself. Calls everyone else out in a 3v3 that all 5 players are lagging red, only to find himself kicked out of the game.

7. For a treaty game, or no rush game, a noob's deck all consists of troops, and only troops.



yeah, i think i mising more. But please share your noob facts too!
I want to wonder if i fit any of the ones that u guys hopefully give out so i can see if i still noob
AuthorReplies:
prowlers own
Skirmisher
posted 08-17-09 07:16 AM EDT (US)     51 / 68       
Noobs get fed up with the campaign and spam Crushingtons.
Yeah thats really noob. I mean, Tomminators are so much better.

GR account: Colonel Corrupt [£eg¡øn]

prowlers own,
and you call yourself a human???
Just another liberal "name caller" cause you HAVE NO FACTS
ImperialLobster
Skirmisher
posted 08-17-09 07:29 AM EDT (US)     52 / 68       
but one gets bored of tommys. ones keyboard buttons, T, U, C and K are worn out.

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY
ON
≤≤≤≤≤See my YouTube channel for some crazy pointless crap!≥≥≥≥≥
DukeLeto
Skirmisher
posted 08-17-09 11:58 AM EDT (US)     53 / 68       
Emperor_Kyle
Skirmisher
posted 08-17-09 12:15 PM EDT (US)     54 / 68       
Noobs don't realize that the best cheat unit is the mediocre bombard or the flying purple tapir.

ESO2: Kyle_The_Brave
Clan: Proud Officer of Trỉρℓε ΣņτễηţϠ, [TΣ]

"Why make your own inspirational quotes when you can just read the side of O_Man's Ssips juices?" - A wise prophet
"The best way to die is to spontaneously combust during a drum solo battle with Lars Ulrich" - The Blair
A414A_Incog
Veteran Musketeer I
posted 08-17-09 12:25 PM EDT (US)     55 / 68       
Actually a warm memory I have from my noob-hood (though I still am, of some sort, a noob), is downloading the demo for Aoe3, and enjoying it. I enjoyed it so much that I begged my mother to get it for me (2005-2006 at the time I think) and waited impatiently for it to come in the mail. I remember being very happy when I finally opened the box and installed the game. As the patriot I am I decided to start off with French, and found that the hot air balloon was the best unit in the game. I decided that Russians and Ottoman were weak, and that France and Ports were the most fun to play. I was pretty proud of my level 40 HCs. I had a lot of fun playing skirmishes vs easy/medium comps (even remember struggling vs a medium), even if by my standards today I use the expert comp just to test BO's and it's easy to beat.

I made 31 vills always, 10 to each resource, no more ofc, that would waste pop space, and one builder.

My first online game ever was a Port mirror (on TWC), which I lost... he just outmassed xbows at me.
But it was such a novel experience, I had much fun. I was terrible, I didn't have constant villie production, though I managed to scrape 50% wins anyway. Was something like a corp.

Then one day a fine cool guy called alexander sth, told me to keep constant villies. It was a break-through, it got me to master sgt. Was pretty proud. I remember coming to HG to read ceres's Port guides (which are still there). I was in the "HWT" clan at the time, only clan besides _V_V_ and A414A i've been a part of.

After that I went to agecomm, flamed a few people in cap locks who were complaining about Iro's OP BB rush. ^^

And I met gs, and a few other people, most notably tommo92 and adams28, daooof, and some others. Gs was only a captain at that time, but he still destroyed me in our first game. After getting to know each other a little (msn's were exchanged), we founded A414A. I do believe it was the 19th of october, 2007, perhaps earlier. I was among the first members, being the 5th or 6th into the clan iirc. Originally we were an Agecomm clan, as that was where we all got to know each other. I was one of the noobier members. ^^ Ofc now I'm 2nd best. xD
after some time, our epic leader, tommo92
, decided to spend that much less time on aoe3, and appointed me as leader. or maybe he appointed someone else, and then i got the title. whatever it
Good times... it's funny how the game experience is so different, from what it was back then (when i got the game in the box) to what it is now..

excuse the post length , i'll prolly c&p and make a history thread/section at a414a
CrazyLunatic
Veteran Musketeer
posted 08-17-09 12:34 PM EDT (US)     56 / 68       
, decided to spend that much less time on aoe3, and appointed me as leader. or maybe he appointed someone else, and then i got the title. whatever it
i thought your clan had a dual leadership

QUACK
A414A_Incog
Veteran Musketeer I
posted 08-17-09 01:44 PM EDT (US)     57 / 68       
That bug appeared one day, much after that.
ckei
Skirmisher
posted 08-17-09 04:10 PM EDT (US)     58 / 68       
yeah haha I remember my first game too,I played as french and after I had played ten games without loosing to ottos which was the op civ( I think 4 games were vs ottos),I decided that I must be pretty darn good. SO I posted to agecomm how easily I could beat ottos and my super strategy. I think you can guess the response I got from that thread

¨‘°ºO "All you big boys stay back and let me do my thaaaang"Oº°‘¨
DukeLeto
Skirmisher
posted 08-17-09 08:40 PM EDT (US)     59 / 68       
Lol I remeber having a "30 muskets at 10:00 strat" for FRance and not getting it at 10:00 most of the time haha and I thought I was good when I beat a pr 8 one game and lost the next... I also had problems with those russians and their OP stretlets, as shown by this thread http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=ct&f=15,36974,,all my turning point IMO.
ImperialLobster
Skirmisher
posted 08-18-09 02:00 AM EDT (US)     60 / 68       
I used to mass 5o musketeers. And then another 50 and then another. then delete my 20 settlers (this is in Imperial Age) so I could make another 50. So I put the 4 groups in stagger mode, so it looks cool, and march them all slowly to the enemy. I would pr0ceed to destroy my enemy slowly(Easy level) and refuse his surrender- so I could kill everything.

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY
ON
≤≤≤≤≤See my YouTube channel for some crazy pointless crap!≥≥≥≥≥
bloodoats
Skirmisher
posted 08-18-09 06:33 PM EDT (US)     61 / 68       
i remember in first 3 three games not realising that it told you when your opponent had aged to fortress, when i tried to raid him and saw his fortress i accused him of cheating! sorry whoever that was!
Conquerer_MAG
Skirmisher
posted 08-18-09 09:21 PM EDT (US)     62 / 68       
My first game online was horrific. Being on GR, I didn't know that the clan he was in was probably the top 1v1 clan on GR (and still is), so I went right ahead with my brits playing his russians on vanilla. I remember distinctly, the map was yukon, I was blue, he was purple. I decided to make lots and lots of houses, and maybe get some muskets before he got units.

He came in at about 6:30 with strelets galore, at which point I immediately resigned, not realizing that strelets have next to no siege.

To those of you on GR, this was |F| Galaxy. That was quite a traumatizing aoe3 experience. Although, I do miss the days where you could make pure strelet 1v1 and still win... good times...

GR acc name: Ultraviolet [£eg¡øn]
'hey l0bst0r3r!! r u j3w!sH ?? c@n U t3LL m3 wH3r3 t0 g3t s0m3 k0sH0r r3c!p3s?
i l!k3 k0sh0r f00d th3r3's a j00ish r3st4ur4nt 4r0uNd t3h c0rn0r but it's s0 3xp3ns!v3'
-l33th4x0r
Fuzzy044
Skirmisher
posted 08-19-09 05:26 PM EDT (US)     63 / 68       
A414A_Incog, are you incognoto, cause i didnt notice.

ESO: Fuzzy044
Rank: Master Sergeant lvl 17 OP!!!!
YOU ARE SMALL!!!

1X1 is nice
A_US_James246
Scenario Reviewer
(id: James246)
posted 08-19-09 06:03 PM EDT (US)     64 / 68       
No it's StrategicJoeL
A414A_Incog
Veteran Musketeer I
posted 08-20-09 05:03 AM EDT (US)     65 / 68       
Oh poo there goes my cover.
wonkwink
Skirmisher
posted 08-21-09 03:58 PM EDT (US)     66 / 68       
A noob will be of relatively decently pr but play horrbily. You will wonder how he got to that pr all game and as you are about to win the game goes OOS...that's why.

ESO name: wonkwink
CrazyLunatic
Veteran Musketeer
posted 08-22-09 02:52 AM EDT (US)     67 / 68       
No it's StrategicJoeL
no, he's brianmanhattan obviously

QUACK
No_nickname
Skirmisher
posted 08-23-09 03:38 PM EDT (US)     68 / 68       
A noob presses the 'Ready' button before the game is full.

A noob considers any Supremacy game to be a 'Rush' game.

A noob considers any attack before 40 mins to be a rush.

A noob spams FU Imperial Gendarmes and loses the game .

A noob thinks a fish boom is to make 5-6 fishing boats.

A noob doesn't make villagers, because that's obviously a waste of valuable population room. (I've been there ).
Also, costing 100 food they are way too expensive ("How am I supposed to make military if I'm wasting all my f00d on Settlers???").

Check out my YouTube channel for AoEO videos!
ESO2: No_nickname | AoEO: NoNick331
"anything less than 40 hours is nub men, me i go for like 76 hours the best as i can get to imp in 14 mins then go on holiday for 2 days then come back and make some mil or w/e" - bloodoats
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