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Topic Subject: Anthology of Saloon Memes
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posted 01-14-10 12:41 PM EDT (US)   
ITT, joo post all of the Saloon memes you can think of. Of course, core group mofos can assist with the old memes that have come and gone. I'd say, try to think of ones that are at least somewhat specific to the saloon as opposed to things that happen on just about any other internet forums, but at the same time, I wouldn't be reluctant to spout one out just because it fairly regularly happens else where.

Ho, visitor to the Age of Empires III Heaven Saloon. We hope that you have read the brief description of this most magical of places lest you not understand what we are about. As a cohort of intelligent eccentrics masking as glorified lunatics lacking typing skills, we aim everyday to make the saloon an escape from reality, a mildly funny allegory of the whole of life, and/or just kinda stupid. In a most arduous undertaking, we have here gathered to present to you a list of memes that should give all of you a better (though still wholly incomplete as we are extremely difficult to understand... it's like staring at a Pollack or something) understanding of who it is we are and what it is we do. Gather ye all around, and feast thine eyes upon this list of glorious common undertakings in the saloon, otherwise known as memes of the saloon:

However, you should probably read "Read Me First" first, despite the fact that it's really outdated:

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=ct&f=2,36591,0,10


INSTITUTIONS OF THE SALOON

Elpea

Yes, Elpea is not only a person, but an institution, and the Saloon's patron deity and high protector. Hailing from Brazil, Elpea looks like Mowgli, talks like Tarzan, and kills a few bushbabies every night for his dinner, or something like that. You can find pictures of him literally all over this website. From all these different pictures, you can see that while he keeps sort of the same baisc appearance all the time, he has shapeshifter capabilities and looks far younger than his actual age. In fact, in certain pictures, Elpea looks only about as tall as a fully grown Homo Floresiensis, which further suggests his extreme old age and proof of his divinity. This thread shows the official proclamation of his divinity, and below is also a link to his Twitter page which is filled with a lot of words only Portuguese speakers can understand, demonstrating that Portuguese is god's language:

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=ct&f=2,37868,0,30
http://twitter.com/elpea

The TMO Thread

Reading the TMO (or Too Much Orange) Thread is probably the second important first step one must take in order to appreciate the saloon and its salooners (because really, do you think any of us actually bothered to read the rules when we signed up?) In this post here, conveniently even placed in the TMO itself, Brother Cheesewiz provides you and I with the most complete and accurate description of the TMO to date, including never before seen information such as the specific criteria for becoming a TMO, what constitutes TMG (or Too Much Green) Threads, and a compilation of winners of the last 19 TMOs (Jarrod Nelson and Beekay are currently tied for having the most championships at 2 a piece!), in A Declaration of the Articles of Too Much Orange. That was an extremely long sentence!

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=st&fn=2&tn=36870&st=2004#post2005

The Saloon Core Group (SCG)

The Saloon Core Group (SCG) is an order of Salooners that have been here from the very beginning or close enough to very beginning I guess. Amazingly, most of them are still here, and even somewhat sane! As you will notice on the Saloon Pecking Order, these people are highly esteemed, in positions of great authority, and revered like saints by the community here as a whole. You must pay these people the proper respects, or else you will get on everybody's bad side. We are known to chase people off like a herd of howling, barking, teeth-grinding hounds if they get on our nerves, so heed this warning meticulously my friend... that is... if you still want to be a friend...

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=ct&f=2,36429,0,10

The Official Saloon Pecking Order and Sanity Map

Two for the price of one! This convenient little map is a guide to where each individual stands in the complicated power structure and insanity tiers of the saloon. Very arbitrary, entirely subjective, slightly rigged, but surprisingly accurate, this is the go-to directory of saloon-type people, complete with color-coding! Is Salooner A a power-broker, or a power-joker? A troll for the ages, or an innocent little pre-teen yet to discover the woody? A beacon of sanity and rationality, or as batshit as Alex Jones? This place can answer all these questions and more.

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=ct&f=2,37722,0,30

As_Saffah's Analysis of the Map

One post with the value of a lot of posts! This analysis makes the map easier harder to understand, but ought to pique your interest. Far too mathmatatical for certain peoples' tastes, indicative of too much time on one's hands, of extremely questionable methodology (1 observer also participating in the study), but surprisingly accurate, this analysis can teach you a few things about the saloon's inhabitants very quickly. 1. The SCG, despite being revered, is also batshit. 2. This place is run, unfortunately, by a very sane group of staff. 3. Becoming legendary here is largely based on getting banned or being a smurf.

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=st&fn=2&tn=37722&st=316#post317

Royal Rumbles

The Saloon in the Sims

Compliments of Shrink, the Saloon in the Sims was an absolutely beautiful work that serves as an insight into the everyday lives of salooners here. Though it started out as focused on primarily SCG members and other old fogies, it did come to incorporate many of the saloon's members into the show. The visuals are stunningly accurate representations of what the people involved look like in real life except for As_Saffah. You never really know when a new installment of the Saloon in The Sims might roll into town again, and if you play your cards right, then who knows... your mind might not be the only thing that gets blown you might get featured in the next installment.

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=ct&f=2,37352,,all

The Top Posters of HeavenGames

Really the only objective measure of anything around here, this is simply a collection of the people with the most posts in the entire HeavenGames community. This one reveals that, miraculously, we actually post less than a lot of people on other HeavenGames forums (though, especially in the case of off-topic places, users are not necessarily mutually exclusive to one branch of HeavenGames or another). Bold entries indicate salooners and small trender train icons next to a username indicate a member of the SCG.

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=st&fn=2&tn=37827&f=2,0,0,30&st=90

Graph of TMO Posts Over Time

Actually, I guess there's two objective measures of things around here, and this be the second one. The graph, as you can see by the table, shows the number of days it took for TMO posts to reach certain benchmarks. Somebody put in all the points and hit QuadReg on their calcualtor to come to the equation of f(x)= 16445ln(x) - 72084 R^2= .963. The curve suggests, ostensibly, that people must get bored of posting in TMOs as the posts rate eventually grinds to a screeching, almost halt. As a homework problem for pre-Calculus, find the limit of this equation.




USER RUMOR/GOSSIP/OTHER USER RELATED MEME TYPE THINGS OF THE SALOON

The Dio Archives

This actually comes from Rise of Nations Heaven. Don't go over there, they smell weird. But nonetheless, the thread concerns Dio, one we can probably claim as our own. It's hard to classify Dio precisely given the nature of all of his posts, what I like to call, Dioisms, studied follhardedly in the pseudo-science/religion of Dioism. You could call him maybe an anti-troll troll, maybe a witty, but lonely social critic resorting to sarcasm all of the time, of maybe just a weirdo. But in any case, he is either officially or unofficially allowed to smurf. His other account is Byronic_Hero for those of you who are either very new year or don't notice anything about the world around you. This archive here is just a big long collection of certain Dioisms.

http://ron.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=st&fn=2&tn=4880&f=2,4880,0,10&st=500

Dio's Stroke(s)

Rick's Inclination Towards Very Young Women Girls

Mete and Morgoth's Relationship

Pause and Imperial Lobster's Relationship


THREAD-ORIGINATED MEMES OF THE SALOON

hth, hth, HTH, hth hth, HTH HTH

What started as a hilarious misunderstanding in a thread by Rick about eating a frozen burrito has ballooned into one of the most memorable saloon memes for older salooners, and even perhaps, one of the most recognizable saloon memes to new entrants as the phrase is probably said about once every three forums now (or one of its variations at any rate!) Hottie to Hottie, hope this helps, heart to heart... however you want to use it, whenever you want to use it! The meanings here are interchangable, and as Brother Mete says, hottie to hottie is used in "every context hth."

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=st&fn=2&tn=36755&f=2,36755,0,0&st=25


ONE-HIT WONDERS: SINGLE POST-ORIGINATED MEMES OF THE SALOON


OTHER MEMES OF THE SALOON

Punjab

A quick glance by those most observant should reveal that an inordinate amount of salooners come from "Punjab." But not just Punjab, India. They come from all corners of the globe, from Punjab, India to Punjab, California to Punjab, Ontario to Punjab, Oxfordshire.

insert link here

Random Caterpillar Pictures

Random caterpillar pictures have become a staple here at the Saloon and have become an integral part of the way we go about threads. In fact, I wouldn't doubt that somebody could make a smurf account that did nothing but post caterpillar pictures and everybody would think that individual was one of the best new people to come into the saloon.

A_S: "Cunni's pic wins thread otherwise failing due to being 5-7 years behind the times."
"Brilliant cunni simply brilliant"
C_MAG: "CunniJA's post is epic win."

[This message has been edited by CunniJA (edited 01-14-2010 @ 02:53 PM).]

Replies:
posted 01-14-10 12:45 PM EDT (US)     1 / 53  
Here is the meme's I accumulated in the TMO post:

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=st&fn=2&tn=36870&st=2004#post2005

It's towards the bottom.


What we can do is add memes to this thread, then I'll add a link to the bottom section of the TMO post to preserve it for all eternity!

Ex-Seraph Cheesewiz - Former WICH Webmaster, AOE3H Webmaster, & RTWH Staff, HeavenGames LLC
World_in_Conflict_Heaven || Age_of_Empires_III_Heaven || Support_HeavenGames || The_Playpen || Do_The_Right_Thing
posted 01-14-10 12:56 PM EDT (US)     2 / 53  
NUCLEAR WINTER

and

POS like Elpea

Crunkatog on ESO
Bart331 balance suggestion: aztec: remove civ
Voltiguer: Ender, Sioux in 1.04 will be a top civ, no matter how many layers of Sioux goggles you put on
schildpad on Elephants: ...their mansabdar unit sucks so hard it looks like a black hole
Crunkatog on Steam.
posted 01-14-10 01:05 PM EDT (US)     3 / 53  
I heard they were the reasons this site will fail!

Also, people should not pulling shit out of the toilet and posting it in the Saloon.

Ex-Seraph Cheesewiz - Former WICH Webmaster, AOE3H Webmaster, & RTWH Staff, HeavenGames LLC
World_in_Conflict_Heaven || Age_of_Empires_III_Heaven || Support_HeavenGames || The_Playpen || Do_The_Right_Thing

[This message has been edited by Cheesewiz (edited 01-14-2010 @ 01:06 PM).]

posted 01-14-10 01:08 PM EDT (US)     4 / 53  
And people call the Saloon elitist. When any old 16-year-old GDer can wander in and become a Saloon cultural icon. That, my friends, is equal opportunity. That is the Armorican dream.

Crunkatog on ESO
Bart331 balance suggestion: aztec: remove civ
Voltiguer: Ender, Sioux in 1.04 will be a top civ, no matter how many layers of Sioux goggles you put on
schildpad on Elephants: ...their mansabdar unit sucks so hard it looks like a black hole
Crunkatog on Steam.
posted 01-14-10 01:12 PM EDT (US)     5 / 53  
ATTN: Everybody. When you add a certain meme, please provide links guise! HTH HTH!

A_S: "Cunni's pic wins thread otherwise failing due to being 5-7 years behind the times."
"Brilliant cunni simply brilliant"
C_MAG: "CunniJA's post is epic win."
posted 01-14-10 01:37 PM EDT (US)     6 / 53  
putdownpete's post was actually in GD, but since GDers change a lot, the Saloon is all that remembers it.

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=ct&f=1,21406,,all

Ex-Seraph Cheesewiz - Former WICH Webmaster, AOE3H Webmaster, & RTWH Staff, HeavenGames LLC
World_in_Conflict_Heaven || Age_of_Empires_III_Heaven || Support_HeavenGames || The_Playpen || Do_The_Right_Thing
posted 01-14-10 02:11 PM EDT (US)     7 / 53  
Well theres the various banned welcome images, can't find any of them at the moment.

heres one http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=st&fn=2&tn=30807&f=2,30807,0,0&st=25

Can't fine the Japanese guys though.

And TMG as a subsection of TMO, might already be mentioned in Cheeses summary.

Also, The Dio Archives

http://ron.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=st&fn=2&tn=4880&f=2,4880,0,10&st=500

Caterpillars and Saloon roulette (with actual temporary death)

This month I have mostly been playing Zelda Breath of the Wild
Steam - Maffia GFWL - Maffia01 YouTube - HGMaffia Twitter - @HGMaffia
Age of Empires 3 Heaven Seraph

What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare.
[This message hasn't been edited by fred_ernie (or Maffia) (not edited 12-29-2005 @ 09:57 AM).]

[This message has been edited by Maffia (edited 01-14-2010 @ 02:25 PM).]

posted 01-14-10 02:41 PM EDT (US)     8 / 53  
Looking for: traceable origin of random caterpillars, origin of Dio's stroke.

A_S: "Cunni's pic wins thread otherwise failing due to being 5-7 years behind the times."
"Brilliant cunni simply brilliant"
C_MAG: "CunniJA's post is epic win."
posted 01-14-10 02:54 PM EDT (US)     9 / 53  
Well, I think that's a decent working model for now, and it can certainl use other things. Some mods or whatever feel free to edit the post and fill in some blanks, add things, and stuff por favor.

A_S: "Cunni's pic wins thread otherwise failing due to being 5-7 years behind the times."
"Brilliant cunni simply brilliant"
C_MAG: "CunniJA's post is epic win."
posted 01-14-10 03:07 PM EDT (US)     10 / 53  
When any old 16-year-old GDer can wander in and become a Saloon cultural icon. That, my friends, is equal opportunity. That is the Armorican dream.
I don't even have AoE3 and I post here now.
posted 01-14-10 05:03 PM EDT (US)     11 / 53  
posted 01-14-10 05:05 PM EDT (US)     12 / 53  
Also great:

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=t&number=2&dp=0&s_name=&s_subject=cowardness

Also, no mention of the Trender Train?

Ooh, and the "Goodbye, HG..." one.

And a classic:
I'm really sick of being called "Dozer", "Doitzer", and especially "Doikie".

[This message has been edited by GoForGoldenJarls (edited 01-14-2010 @ 05:12 PM).]

posted 01-14-10 05:50 PM EDT (US)     13 / 53  
German Girl. BK is GAY. Rumour Kontrol. Stonewall's moderation is Sub-par. Dio The Magic Dragon. The Lead Zeppelin. 'pr.' SeAM Horses.
posted 01-14-10 05:58 PM EDT (US)     14 / 53  
#1 greatest Saloon meme of all time:
unfortunately he was at his best in aomh.

http://aom.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=ct&f=15,21034,,all

though it was basically the same community, so it still works i guess.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★
posted 01-14-10 06:01 PM EDT (US)     15 / 53  
blessings++;

posted 01-14-10 06:02 PM EDT (US)     16 / 53  
Hey! I actually posted in that thread! Yay for the days when I was still SockGuardian!
posted 01-14-10 06:03 PM EDT (US)     17 / 53  
Woah a great thread I didn't close. It is rare!

posted 01-14-10 07:17 PM EDT (US)     18 / 53  
Rumour Kontrol, British Eagle's betrayal

Having a signature will finally get me some respect.
posted 01-14-10 08:15 PM EDT (US)     19 / 53  
Rumor Kontrol was Kumar right? I think I remember that.

Ex-Seraph Cheesewiz - Former WICH Webmaster, AOE3H Webmaster, & RTWH Staff, HeavenGames LLC
World_in_Conflict_Heaven || Age_of_Empires_III_Heaven || Support_HeavenGames || The_Playpen || Do_The_Right_Thing
posted 01-14-10 08:38 PM EDT (US)     20 / 53  
Lead Zeppelin. 'pr.'
I take full credit for both of these.

Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs?
Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?
Not one now, to mock your own grinning?
posted 01-14-10 08:38 PM EDT (US)     21 / 53  
Although you've elevated prace to an art, Dio.

Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs?
Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?
Not one now, to mock your own grinning?
posted 01-14-10 08:42 PM EDT (US)     22 / 53  
Also, in honor of a recently closed (AND FUN!) thread: the "Sawyer is a racist" thing.

Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs?
Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?
Not one now, to mock your own grinning?
posted 01-14-10 10:31 PM EDT (US)     23 / 53  
I take full credit for both of these.
t-out rick. i def was up and up in transforming the rs/fyad 'p' to pr.
posted 01-14-10 11:25 PM EDT (US)     24 / 53  
yeah. I gave you props.

Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs?
Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?
Not one now, to mock your own grinning?
posted 01-15-10 02:15 AM EDT (US)     25 / 53  
wow my sanity map got included(however the mods made it really something)
what about Saloon Parliament. you forgot that. I suggest you include it, it shows the political side of the users here. the majority are Fascists or Monsters by the way.

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY
ON
≤≤≤≤≤See my YouTube channel for some crazy pointless crap!≥≥≥≥≥
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