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Age of Empires III Heaven » Forums » General Discussions » Teammates from... HELL (Post your horror stories here)
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Topic Subject:Teammates from... HELL (Post your horror stories here)
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Botolf
Royal Guard
posted 01-02-06 06:53 PM EDT (US)         
Post your tales of the worst teammates on earth here, whether it be walling in TCs, building sheep armies, getting wood in age 1, etc.

The worst that's happened to me was a teammate not building any military at all.


| Botolf the Crazed |
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Winner of the Kman Lame Puns Award
AuthorReplies:
flying_red_hippo
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 04:42 AM EDT (US)     26 / 54       
I had one game in on the great plains. We had started in Nomad age and then my tm comes and puts his tc next 2 mine. It takes him about a minute longer then the rest of us to get tc. Then he walls me in around our base and puts no walls. Needless to say we lost, I only could cram in one barracks and not have enough resources. I WANT ROCS AGAIN:-(
Major Helper
AoKH Survivor, Mr. White Teeth
posted 01-03-06 05:09 AM EDT (US)     27 / 54       
ZOMG, i have played aganist the mini_me_ guy !!!!! he was a biiig noob... he like sended 5 man noob armyes to raid and walled off the whole section of his map (it was the map wich says your enemyes are close so beware) ...

worst allyes i have had were the SLLOOOOOWWWW type, who aged up in 10 minutes and asked me should he use berryes or make a mill, when there was 2 whole hunting batches of bison and deer...ugh


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Major Helper: Helping AoE3H Housewives since 2008 - As_Saffah
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Jiggy
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 06:14 AM EDT (US)     28 / 54       
Maybe it's cause I just had 2 games like that, Swirl, but I feel your pain. First one is me 54 dutch, a 35 french, and a 26 french against a german, british, and port (random teams). I figure easy win, even bad french players should be able to hold their own. Well the 35 french guy was actually pretty damn good, and I definitly did my part. But the 2nd french guy did absolutely nothing. He got "raided" by 3 uhlans at like the 6-7 minute mark while I was busy wrecking the german guys settlers with 10 skirms and had 10 more at my base defending.

So we fight them off, and my economy really gets going, I hit fortress then imperial by like the 10th minute. All the while buidling up a decent army of ruyters and skirms. And the good french guy was building cannons and cuirasseers. But the other french guy, he managed to build 10 nootka club men to go along with his 15 villis...

The other three came in, we fought them off for like 6 minutes, but finally just fled our base and went north (the snow map with lots of resources at the top) and me and the good french guy held off the other team for like 45 minutes even managing to take down 2 forward bases they built.

And our other french ally came north to join us, and managed this time to get his nootka back, and build about 4 great cannons.

Anyway so blah blah blah it was basically 2 on 3. And I still thought it was a gg. Till the end when the worst player on the other team called me a newb and challenged me 1v1. It was late, so I told him add me to his friends list, I'll do it tomorrow. No, he says, your a newb and you suck, blah blah blah. I was having a good time despite having a worthless teammate till this jerk spouted his mouth off.

And then the next game I played it was 3 v 4, but the 3 were all in the same clan and were all pros, like there was no reason for them to be playing us. But I was fine with that, I figured Id learn something, and I even think I did. I managed to raid them with 2 different groups of 10 skirms, killing a bunch of vills and keeping them away from resources as long as I could, and at the end around the 15 minute mark I had an army of 15 ruyters 20 skirms and 5 falcons, had taken down 2 of their TCs, and thought I played a decent game. And all I get from them is shut up newb you suck haha. Seriously, if your a pro then why would you feel it necessary to insult other players when they don't say anything to you. I even said "gg depsite being outmatched". And they just insult me. Like gee, thanks, I'm glad I played you guys....

Luckyass
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 06:45 AM EDT (US)     29 / 54       
WOW you guys have had way worse than me, i laughed my ass off reading this

though lately i have had 1 bad experience on ESO
4v4
Me (lvl57), Russian(lvl35), French(lvl45), Brit(lvl25) vs Dutch(lvl51), Dutch(lvl41), German(??), Brit(???)

The Brit on our team was such an enormous noob and was talking our ears off.
As i always do i asked at the beginning what we were gonna do.
So the Brit, me and the russian decided we go rush and the french guy was gonna boom.
So i FF'd and send lancers, hussars, skirms and higlanders
The russian sent out 50 strelets
The Brit sent nothing. Meanwhile he was saying that the Russian was so pro, becoz he had this huge army....he apparently never heard of cheap strelets...

Well we were having a 3v4 the whole time is actually the story. The Brit kept asking about help. I said yes ill come in a moment.
And he was like: NO SEND IT NOW
while i had 40 skirms vs 40 skirms and 10 falcs.
And i was like: NO I WAIT FOR CAVALERY. YOU DID NOTHING THE WHOLE F*cking game, and now u cant even defend ur *ss off!
He: BECAUSE YOU DIDNT DEFEND ME
Me: I ALMOST KILLED ONE GUY AND THEN U COME LET UR ARMY DIE INFRONT OF ONE FORT. U DID NOTHING.
He: Guys dont listen to him, i was way more valuable for the team than he was.
Me: Ok, we shall see the kills at the end of the game...

End of the game, i had 380 kills, he had 40 kills. Whos more valuable now!

Fongie
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 07:26 AM EDT (US)     30 / 54       
Oh yes good topic. I had this ottoman dude on my team in 2v2 who in the start asked if he could put me on his friends list. I told him to play now, do whatever later, and let's rush/raid early. He said "okay by 13 min?".
..
I told him that it wasn't really the fastest, just do it as fast as possible, and he kept asking me for what minute we would attack on. Anyway we eventually won (!) since the enemies were even worse and I got to crush one of them in colonial (quite unusual since I'm dutch), and my teammate did get himself a forward base and an army, even if it was pretty late

Another one! No, wait.. it's too similar to the rest

GRUNT
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 07:38 AM EDT (US)     31 / 54       
I had this teammate called 'Raaman' or something like that. He was just like: "defend me while I boom."

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Highland guy
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 12:44 PM EDT (US)     32 / 54       
I had a guy on my team last night who sent all his villies to my settlement area shot all the animals (did not collect any food from them), had his hero take all the treasures im my area and started mining my gold. After 5 minutes he then typed in that I should leave off him as I kept on asking him to leave my area an go back to his town as his was deserted and my area was running out of resources. Then he just resigned leaving me with no economy and ready to get steamrollered by the other 2 opponents. This is 2 nights in a row I've had crap ally's.
Diceclock
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 12:54 PM EDT (US)     33 / 54       
I start a 2v2 where my teammate asks "Are you Dutch"? I respond "yes" since I'm playing Dutch and think that's what he means.

So we get a few minutes into the game, and he starts typing messages to me...in Dutch. So I'm trying to figure out what the hell he's saying, but its no use, so I start typing back "I'm not Dutch, speak English."

Doesn't work, he seems to understand it as "Attack the English" and proceeds to launch an attack on our British opponent. Of course it's a miserable failure, since we're totally uncoordinated.

As we defend ourselves from the counter attack, he just starts screaming at me in Dutch. He seemed mad. We lost.

Murrogh
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 01:09 PM EDT (US)     34 / 54       
I have had allies think that I am noob when I do FF/merc w/ germans.

Strat I do with that is take all tps and do the 3 eco ups in 1st age then do Free merc tech in 3rd age. Needless to say I dont have army untill 12-13 minutes, also I ask them for gold throughout the game while not building army. It is very funny though when I come into enemy base at 15:00 with 10black riders, 14 jeagars, 11 landskent, and 9 hackapells with just about to go 4th age for more merc armies. I have been called a noob during the game with that strat but never after.

[This message has been edited by Murrogh (edited 01-03-2006 @ 01:09 PM).]

Seancahn
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 02:11 PM EDT (US)     35 / 54       
I played with a guy that spoke very por english. At first I was like wow this guy isnt so bad Finally I got a decent partner.


He built a mill very early but he did hunt his first set of huntables. All 4 of us age at the same time for the most part. I get a 2vs1 on me Im like HELPPPPPP he never comes but I managed to hold them off with some heavy losses to my eco and all my military.

I tell him hey man Im going to need some help here I cant fight a 2vs1 this whole game. He says "K." His score is now at elast 1/3 higher then the next closest person. I figured no biggy I took some losses but now my partner boomed.

The second wave of 2vs1 troops wanst stoppable even though I had a fort and at least 40 skirms. Again Im like DUDE I need some serious help here. He says "K." I lose everything and before I resign I say well man I did what I could GL.

He then in perfect English says "I thought this was a no rush game."


Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of lifes problems

Homer J

Botolf
Royal Guard
posted 01-03-06 02:31 PM EDT (US)     36 / 54       

Quote:

He then in perfect English says "I thought this was a no rush game."


Pure gold!!!

Quote:

I start a 2v2 where my teammate asks "Are you Dutch"? I respond "yes" since I'm playing Dutch and think that's what he means.

So we get a few minutes into the game, and he starts typing messages to me...in Dutch. So I'm trying to figure out what the hell he's saying, but its no use, so I start typing back "I'm not Dutch, speak English."

Doesn't work, he seems to understand it as "Attack the English" and proceeds to launch an attack on our British opponent. Of course it's a miserable failure, since we're totally uncoordinated.

As we defend ourselves from the counter attack, he just starts screaming at me in Dutch. He seemed mad. We lost.


I start laughing when I think of someone screaming at you in Dutch

| Botolf the Crazed |
There's treasure everywhere!
Winner of the Kman Lame Puns Award
Usog2rewoP
Banned
posted 01-03-06 02:45 PM EDT (US)     37 / 54       
I faced this guy "scuzz" and he sucked. He didnt move his villis or make units, just kept saying "Wow! look at my home city customizations!!! OMG COOLZ"
Armagin
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 03:10 PM EDT (US)     38 / 54       
I was playing a 3vs3 on carrabian I had an amazing eco going, a massive fleet of ships, and a huge army of Russian Cavalry archers and musketeers. My two team-mates refused to talk to me all game and I was a little angry. They had no fleet but both had massive Merc armies so I thought that would be handy in the event of an attack. So I conduct a raid on the enemy base with opris and cav archers. while Im away one of my teammates walls me off from his base. Then the enemy attacks him so I withdraw to my island only to find that there is no way into his base except for the entrace guarded by the enemy fleet. My teammates loose all of their mercs and start calling me a f*cki*g n00b. So while Im off fighing 3 navies at once they wall my army in and surround all of my buildings with walls. It became a game where I had to make sure that none of my villagers were caught. Every time I built a new building a signal flare went up and they told each other to surround it. we ended up loosing because they completley put me out of the game by surrounding me.

Oh yeah and that time that I was facing 4 french that all native rushed us with manca wariorrs and then spammed curiassiars got all angry and kept saying when they won and the game ended: bad game you guys are all noobs then my team-mate who really was a noob said "I told them not to age up for 7 minutes to defend better against your rush." and my other team-mate said "my minute men held your curis off for a while dont you think?" I left


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DEATH KOMMANDO
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 03:29 PM EDT (US)     39 / 54       
I had this quiet Turk ally who was doing pretty well, had a huge army stocked up, but was mostly just doing his own thing and sitting in the corner while I got the blunt of the attacks. After repeatedly requesting help, he finally starts marrching to my aid. By now my town is barely standing. So his armies are marching forward and right before he engages the enemy... He orders all his army to commit mass-suicide!
dejanh
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 03:35 PM EDT (US)     40 / 54       
Hello,

Doesn't everyone have this story, hehe =) Anyway, I always seem to get stuck with people that do not know what they are doing. One of the worst though has got to be a game I played against an Ottoman and a Dutch with I think a Dutch partner (I was German). It was a 2 vs. 2 and I managed to wipe out the Ottoman opponent by 15-18 minute mark. While this was going on, my partner managed to build 5 pikemen - 5! Naturally, my econ suffered from dealing with the Ottoman and at this point I expected to be backed up by my partner, but with 5 pikemen there was no chance for him to do anyting. Long story short, the Dutch player then rushed me and eventually came after my partner who then swore at me for not helping him! He had 25 minutes to get his econ and army up and going, he built 5 pikemen, and he wanted my help??? Go figure that...

orgasmofthemind
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 04:04 PM EDT (US)     41 / 54       
my very first game online, I was Russia, my ally was Spain.

By 10 minutes he had finally advanced to colonial, and had his 7 villies chopping wood. In a little while I had villie max thanks to 3 tc's.

He got attacked, I defended him (his 5 pikes and 3 xbow's didn't survive, unfortunately)

I gave him wood to rebuild tc, he did, and made an army of 20 pikes and 30 xbows evetually.

So I toy with them for a while, send 50 men army of strelets to attack their fort, defend against a few attacks. He tells me he's going to end this game once and for all.

And he send his army of 20 pikes and 30 xbows to attack. I decided I was getting bored and chewed them up with massed cav and cannon.

CheleusMaximus
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 04:19 PM EDT (US)     42 / 54       
My worst team story goes like this:

Me and my two clan members where going to have a 3vs3 game. So we went to team one and the other three guys whent to team 2. But this was before the last patch that unreadys everyone once someone changes there city or team. One of the guys on team 2 just before we started when onto our team. So the game starts and he walls my town center in and my partnet aswell. How he got so much wood I do not know. After an little onslaught of harsh words towards him we asked why he would do such a thing and he replied "Now the teams are even" (even though it was actaully uneven for us. Then of course we resigned. Ive also had partners who think they are good but they actaully have no clue how to play ie they make like 180 muskateers thinking that they can kill skirmishers

NemesisHunter
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 04:33 PM EDT (US)     43 / 54       
Having a noob for a team mate is bad, wanna know whats worse? Having a noob who doesn't speak a word of english (save for "no english") for a team mate. We're playing on Carolina or one of those maps and I take a glance at his base after I get to age 2. Guess what I see? 7 villiagers, thats it. We're nearly 5 minutes into the game and hes made 1 villiager. Worse yet, only two of them were on food.

So I ask him "when are you gonna advance to colonial age?"
"idk once I have 20 some villiagers"
"well why don't you make more?"
"I don't have enough food"
"so move more villiagers to food"
"but I need gold and wood"
(heres where I snap...)
"WTF DO YOU NEED SO MUCH WOOD AND GOLD FOR IN AGE 1! ugh, w/e i'm gonna go attack them, you can help with your army... oh wait, you don't have one"

Then I go and attack around 9 minutes and decimate one guy and realize the 1 remaining enemy won't be a problem, so I move my troops back and say
"alright, i killed one. I left the other for you"

This was around maybe 18 minutes into the game. He had been in colonial for... oh less than a minute maybe. So the enemy comes back to retaliate but goes to my team mates base and, guess what? whipes him the **** out. He just runs him over with a bunch of pikemen and muskets. So after watching him get beat up I took some mercy and sent my calv to the back of the enemys base and finished him. It was sooo funny to watch him my team mate just get killed. Best thing ever.

[This message has been edited by NemesisHunter (edited 01-03-2006 @ 04:34 PM).]

Highland guy
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 05:01 PM EDT (US)     44 / 54       
I really get annoyed when on a 2v2 your ally resigns and when you ask why he says,
"I didn't like the map"
_Boo_
Skirmisher
(id: Buu_Dragon)
posted 01-03-06 05:07 PM EDT (US)     45 / 54       
worst possible teamate
me and my friend play ottos, and we usually send our vills to food, leaving 1 to get crates. map is bayou, and it randomly put us VERY close together. this clown sends half of his vills to each of our crates, eats them, eats his own, says GG and resigns.

Jesus Christ is Lord
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Jiggy
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 06:23 PM EDT (US)     46 / 54       
Well thats about what Ottos deserve.


jk

fhertlein
Skirmisher
posted 01-03-06 06:53 PM EDT (US)     47 / 54       
I have played a few games where my teammate has a descent size army, but keeps them close to the vest, while I am attacking the enemy.

I ask if they plan on using their army, and if so, let's hit player blue, since I am already in their base. But they proceed to hit red, running into their troops, fort or towers.

The other one is people giving advice, and I still have more settlers, military, etc. and they end up resigning quickly.


"The devil and the priest can't exist if one goes away, its just like the battle of the sun and moon, night and day. The force of the devil is what we are told to fear. Watch out for religion when he gets too near."
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Mausgueck
Skirmisher
posted 01-12-06 10:49 PM EDT (US)     48 / 54       
I was so terrible ... played 2vs2 against "cheapapapa" and build a market instead of a house -> then I would have to wait until I have enough wood to make settlers and I did not use hunting dogs but the wood upgrade o_O (< played too).
Yeah, I was nervous, but that was just awful ... and eventually we lost ...
Scotty the Fallen
Skirmisher
posted 01-12-06 11:33 PM EDT (US)     49 / 54       
Time for a rant!

3 vs 3, We do good for a while. Then I look over at the far left player (Dutch) and I notice he has a military of 15 Skirms, 2 Falcs, and a handful of Ruyters. Not bad, but not good considering that he has 13 Villies in age 4. After he walls himself in, me and my other partner (French) Begin building our military to start raiding, and he gets attacked! Now me and the french guy need to stop production and save ourselves from an attack of 3 armies totalling 35 Cuirs, 12 Falcs, 60 Skirms (2 French) and 30 Ruyters with 20 Nasseau Halberdiers. Now with only 25 Redcoats, 4 Falcs and some Kings guard Hussars. After some of the most majestic Battles, we are left exhausted and a Sixth wave (I don't know how they did it) attacks and The dutch guy has collapsed, and I am collapsing and to top it all off, the other team says in unison "GOD YOU F***ING SUCKED" We did our best and its those jerks that have to add insult to injury.

Another story is a 2 vs 2, I am doing pretty good, and I managed to slow down a spanish player considerably with a 12 minute mark raid, and now the other player (Russian) has massed over 80 strelets and 20 cossacks is attacking my allies base! He is being attacked, and instead of garrisoning his villies in is TC, he keeps flaring his base and I can't do a THING because I'm rebuilding my military. I tell him 8 times "Garrison your villies" and he keeps latting them work on a FARM. When I finally manage to come and help, he finally decides to call out minutemen, and he has 1 tower and a severly damaged TC. In that game, we were decimated and all he could say was "U RETERD Y U NO HALP ME?" All I said was "You moron, you didn't garrison your villies like I told you, and you didn't even attack anything!"

In the end, he had 24 kills while I had 118. The game lasted 29:36


Scotty the Fallen | One-time Angel Reincarnate, and Former BFME2H and TWH Downloads administrator, and BFME2 Strategy Administrator.
"And I shall go softly into the night, taking my dreams, as will you." - EoJ
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Major Helper
AoKH Survivor, Mr. White Teeth
posted 01-13-06 09:19 AM EDT (US)     50 / 54       
how you had 118 ? if you were brits i guess you could have built 98 vills, send the 8 villl card and have both cree trade posts to have 10 cree coureur de boises.... but even that would be only 116 villagers ? or did you have fishing boats ?

luckily i havent had really crappy allies yet...


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