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Topic Subject:War Stories Thread
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Lord Berminator
Skirmisher
posted 02-01-08 10:45 PM EDT (US)         
Yep, here I go again.

Well, this one I lost, but it was fun. It was 1v1 on Ozarks, I was Russia opponent was Sioux. We both aged to Colonial around same time. Ironically, we eneded up trying to build fbs int the same spot, and he destroyed mine. Pretty soon he attacked me, the same time I attacked him. I killed of a few villys, but my army was small since my initial fb had been stopped. The Sioux player didn't take down my TC yet. But soon, his next wave took it down. My CM bought me time for my villys to run away.

So I start rebuilding to the south. I get up 3 blockhouses and begin spamming strelets. It was hilarious, you shoulda seen it. This guy goes back to his base after taking my TC. I get strelets coming in at him from all sides, and he never knows where I am going to strike next. Its all hit an run. I constrict his villys into his town, weakening his eco. I snipe at a few villys, then retreat. And the funny thing is I'm attacking from 3 places at once, so he hardly ever caches me. I do this for at least 20 minutes after he took down my TC. He says to me, "You are the most annoying person I have ever played." I just laugh.

Eventually he masses and army large enough to defend and attack my weak rebuild at the same time. I may have lost, but it was great fun, and it was excellent micro practice.

I WANT YOU to post your stories now!! Participate, people!

Scenarios: Worldmap Series I: North America, Worldmap Series II: Caribbean, The Wasteland

Editor of: Orissa, Kill the Sun, Bathe in Hate

Current Projects: Fog of War, Island Hopping

[This message has been edited by Lord Berminator (edited 12-18-2010 @ 01:16 AM).]

AuthorReplies:
MannisEi
Skirmisher
posted 05-07-09 02:16 PM EDT (US)     501 / 804       
Trap of Death!!

O o
/Ż/___________________________ _ __/
| ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!!!
\_\ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ Ż ŻŻ
Emperor_Kyle
Skirmisher
posted 05-07-09 03:20 PM EDT (US)     502 / 804       
You wish it was better.

ESO2: Kyle_The_Brave
Clan: Proud Officer of Trỉρℓε ΣņτễηţϠ, [TΣ]

"Why make your own inspirational quotes when you can just read the side of O_Man's Ssips juices?" - A wise prophet
"The best way to die is to spontaneously combust during a drum solo battle with Lars Ulrich" - The Blair
StrategicJoeL
Skirmisher
posted 05-08-09 00:06 AM EDT (US)     503 / 804       
well, this is a sort of sad story. A prime example of miscommunication. I joined a game in nilla, and was ready to start but the guy started to lay down the law. "If you cheat i'll report you to ESO." I'm like "don't worry, I don't cheat, record the game if you want." So then the guy went "and no warships." I'm like "ok." So then we start. Early on his explorer shoots one of my vills. He's like "sorry about that." I'm like "dude, this is war. You don't say sorry" He's like "lol" So then I do the OP Deer Assanination Scheme on him. While I'm at it I melee two of his vills to death with my vills. He's like "Hey stop it! what are you doing!". As the game goes on, I FF with Ports and reach the fortress age. I ship two organ guns, and then a fort. I have complete map control, and build a fort to get more control. Suddenly I hear him say "would you please move your two organ guns farther away from me so that I can build a wall?" I start to burst out in laughter. I'm like "dude, this is war. get used to being aggressive." He says, "well this is just a game, so you should play fair." So that gets me mad, so I bring my organ guns into a patch of vills and deploy them. They start to just massacre those vills. The guy says "sorry, but if your not going to play by the rules, I'm out, have a nice day" and he resigns. I later realize that he had intended to play a treaty game with me, but he just didn't communicate clearly! suddenly everything made sense. lol, too bad. hilarious though.

organ gunz are chuck norris daddy!
CrazyLunatic
Veteran Musketeer
posted 05-08-09 00:38 AM EDT (US)     504 / 804       
^that's why you don't play treaty on vanilla...

QUACK
DukeLeto
Skirmisher
posted 05-08-09 00:43 AM EDT (US)     505 / 804       
Why do people even PLAY 60 min nilla treaty??? I mean really, you must lose to the medium comp if you can't get to Imperial in 40 minutes and have tons of everything...
StrategicJoeL
Skirmisher
posted 05-08-09 01:12 AM EDT (US)     506 / 804       
yeah, the first (and probably last) real treaty game I did, was against this sort-of noob guy on TWC, on Northwest Territories (I was Ports, he was Iro). Once the treaty was finished, I had an army of organ guns and goon spam marching towards him. To my dismay, big layers of wall awaited me. My O-guns rip through the wall, and he keep trying to build more layers behind. Unfortunatly, he had four culvs, and two light artillery to massacre my O-guns with. I had a far better eco though, and quickly replaced the dead O-guns, and healed the rest with two priests. When I come back to his base, I see that he rebuilt the layers of walls, and now has four in total. So (sigh) I rip through the layers again, but this time have four culvs of my own, and ten hussars, for his artillery. So, instead of trying to dig through his neverending layers, I just use the monitor shots on them, and march through. His army gets owned by mine,and my army keeps razing his buildings to the ground, and gets lots of reinforcements. My monitors keep hitting his buildings also.
Eventually he droptricks . Usually treaty players are the noobs anyways, so I doubt I'll be doing much more treaty games.

organ gunz are chuck norris daddy!
ImperialLobster
Skirmisher
posted 05-08-09 09:54 AM EDT (US)     507 / 804       
dont do 1v1 treaty anyway. i think the best fun games are 3v3 sup,4v4 sup, FFA and unrated 1v1.

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY
ON
≤≤≤≤≤See my YouTube channel for some crazy pointless crap!≥≥≥≥≥
As_Saffah
Scenario Reviewer
posted 05-08-09 10:49 AM EDT (US)     508 / 804       
Reminds me of when SunilD posted his "NR 40 HOUR" game screenie There were like 4 people in the game waiting for it to go off.

I admit I got tired of playing NR games on Nilla and this one time, a guy shipped a factory wagon to a forward tower or TC or something, and I saw it...couldn't resist...cossacks nearby...sorry they slipped.

Crunkatog on ESO
Bart331 balance suggestion: aztec: remove civ
Voltiguer: Ender, Sioux in 1.04 will be a top civ, no matter how many layers of Sioux goggles you put on
schildpad on Elephants: ...their mansabdar unit sucks so hard it looks like a black hole
Crunkatog on Steam.
Timerover
Skirmisher
posted 05-09-09 00:03 AM EDT (US)     509 / 804       
I thought that this was a bit funny during a game today. I was playing Dutch against computer, set if for random Asian map and drew Mongolia with Gall, i.e. Sioux, as opponent. About 2 minutes game time into the game, the Sioux war chief comes wandering through town center with a Mongolian scout. My explorer, envoy, and my Mongolian scout were all busy looking for stray yaks to round up. (Collected 16 out of 18 on the map.) I have a villager chopping wood near a treasure of I think 65 food guarded by a lion. The War Chief decided to try and collect the treasure.

Well, I have sort of beefed up some of the guardians, like the lions, tigers, and rhinos, along with all of the bears, so I find the AI explorers lying on the ground moaning a lot. This is the first time I was able to watch the fun.

War Chief tackles the lion along with the Mongol scout. Lion starts doing major damage to the chief and the scout. Chief tries to get away, but runs into my villager and the trees he is chopping. Lion nails said Chief, named Crying Clown (I am not kidding on the name) AND the Mongol scout. I decided then and there that I really did not need that 65 food, and I would let the lion live out his computer-generated days in peace.

I never did have a chance to see if the AI ransomed him, because for some reason, my PowerMac decided to throw a fit at me in the middle of the game, and shut down.

Nail to the mast her holy flag,
Set every threadbare sail,
And give her to the god of storms,
The lightning and the gale!
As_Saffah
Scenario Reviewer
posted 05-09-09 00:47 AM EDT (US)     510 / 804       
LOL at least your hunting vills didn't start shooting at the lion and get owned as well. I hate it when I'm working on a treasure and some vills wander by and decide to "help" and get owned by random pirates. But yes, watching the comp AI flail at treasures is fun & profit.
Crying Clown (I am not kidding on the name)
I've seen this too. it's hard not to lol (IIRC it refers to the highest order of holy men Heyoka) I've also seen Coughing Clown. Smiling on the outside, crying on the inside I guess.

Latest awesomeness in the world of FFA: I was playing on a random scenario some kid made by placing half a dozen rivers on the map crosswise in a grid. YOu start on an island and island-hop to gather resources and it's basically like super-Caribbean. So I was playing Ports and spyglassing all the good resources, running oiver and putting up a tower, mining it dry, then moving on. I had a caravel with a team of vills just for this purpose.

Two of the FFAers decided to team up against me and the other guy. I found the host's starting island and put some howitzers ashore the very next island. He didn't see them but I could see him They one-shotted his TC. He had several towers up by this time and walled up one of the islands that had 2 gold mines on it. There were cloaked spies on nearby islands to warn of my approach. I landed my explorer on each one briefly, found the spies, blasted them with caravel fire, and then brought up my howitzers. His buddy was playing Aztecs and had blossomed into quite the annoyance, and I eventually lost all my islands and resigned. But it was funny having Rangefinding mortars on neighboring islands taking out this one guys' crap.
This map is simple and stupid as hell, but it sure was fun. I like simple, dumb things like that.

Crunkatog on ESO
Bart331 balance suggestion: aztec: remove civ
Voltiguer: Ender, Sioux in 1.04 will be a top civ, no matter how many layers of Sioux goggles you put on
schildpad on Elephants: ...their mansabdar unit sucks so hard it looks like a black hole
Crunkatog on Steam.
CrazyLunatic
Veteran Musketeer
posted 05-09-09 01:34 AM EDT (US)     511 / 804       
k so was doing a 3 vs 3 with some clan people vs retribution and some randoms. Anyway it started getting later on in game and suddenly started lagging sooo bad. Eventually the game got to a completely paused state progressing at about 1 second every 3/4 minutes. One of retribution's partners quit and the game suddenly stopped lagging . We played some more and then it started lagging at a similar rate again. Retribution's other partner showed up as lagging with drop box. We dropped him quickly, but then the game froze, so technically he was dropping, but had not dropped completely... Eventually it started getting so tedious (completely paused) that retribution resigned. However it didn't let him resign so he had to alt f4 out
After he left (it didn't show that he had resigned, but he was gone) it still was stuck so a minute later i alt f4'd also. AFAIK one of my clan mates has left his computer on for the last couple hours hoping that it would finally finish... LOL!

QUACK
StrategicJoeL
Skirmisher
posted 05-12-09 11:28 PM EDT (US)     512 / 804       
Quality > Quantity

a guy attacks you with a 165 unit army. you have a 25 unit army. who is more likely to win? well... that just happened recently. Time to make a pompous boast. I was ports with a measely 25 unit army against the russian giant with his massive 165 unit army (master sargent). He went and attacked my base in hope of achieving utter destruction. I, however, had prepared the battlefield beforehand. I used my magic spyglass to see his FB and the army beside it. I built a walled-off box and stuck my six organ guns inside, with the goons ready to hop in also. He then attacks with an uber-massive force of musks, cossacks, and strelets galore. Decent micro, and whatnot can make all the difference. Here is the graph of the battle:

http://www.agecommunity.com/stats/GameStats.aspx?loc=en-US&GameID=4022f4a1-8cc7-48ca-b3f1-6388a57d693d&s Flag=0&md=ZS_Supremacy

notice the giant streak near the end, where his military takes a huge nosedive, but mine stays the same. He quickly resigned or else he would have lost all of his military. Anyways, that's my pompous boast for the day .

organ gunz are chuck norris daddy!

[This message has been edited by StrategicJoeL (edited 05-12-2009 @ 11:31 PM).]

CrazyLunatic
Veteran Musketeer
posted 05-13-09 00:19 AM EDT (US)     513 / 804       
notice that your link doesn't even work... :S

well if he ran all of his infantry right to your organ guns he deserves to lose. A much wiser choice when seeing OG would be just to make some culvs (1 shot kill oh yeah!) or some cav archers to shoot them down easily.

That example is really bad because russia is supposed to have bad units but easily massed so it's not saying much if you beat a russian army with less units (more important than army size is army population though)

QUACK
StrategicJoeL
Skirmisher
posted 05-13-09 00:23 AM EDT (US)     514 / 804       
well... his win percentage is zero, so that could also be part of the problem rofl. Still though, it looked really cool to be massacring an army six times the size of my own.

organ gunz are chuck norris daddy!
ImperialLobster
Skirmisher
posted 05-21-09 07:29 AM EDT (US)     515 / 804       
joel u got TAD yet?
we should play, ur cool

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY
ON
≤≤≤≤≤See my YouTube channel for some crazy pointless crap!≥≥≥≥≥
StrategicJoeL
Skirmisher
posted 05-22-09 10:05 AM EDT (US)     516 / 804       
nah, i just ordered TAD a couple days ago. But yeah, my eso is: StrategicJoeL and I'll play you for sure if your online (what's your eso?)

organ gunz are chuck norris daddy!
ImperialLobster
Skirmisher
posted 05-22-09 01:36 PM EDT (US)     517 / 804       
ImperialLobster. What part of this jolly world are u in and what timeframe will u usually play?

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY
ON
≤≤≤≤≤See my YouTube channel for some crazy pointless crap!≥≥≥≥≥
Lord Berminator
Skirmisher
posted 05-23-09 00:00 AM EDT (US)     518 / 804       
Just played an awesome game on my North America map
Me-Ports, Orange
vs
Opponent-China, Blue

The Portuguese made their first expedition to the Americas around the time China actually did. Only China was in the New York area, and the Portuguese settled in Mexico. They both built up considerably large cities and developed navies to protect their fishing, while fighting off hostile natives and stealing land, resoruces, and power from them. The Portuguese conducted some sea raiding, but found out the Chinese had a huge navy. But the Chinese navy was focused only on blockading the Gulf of Mexico; they did not discover the two Portuguese colonies in California and Northern Canada. The Portuguese had a huge settlement in Central America along with their two colonies, while the Chinese only had their small colony in New York. The Ports were also expanding along the coast of Florida, through Texas and up to Florida. But after a failed raid on the Chinese town, the stronger Chinese army wiped the Portuguese out of their coastal expansion and went down the Gulf coast.

The Portuguese constructed a Fort to protect Mexico, and built two factories: one in Mexico, defended by the Fort, and another in California, where the Chinese wouldn't find it so quickly. China was very focused on getting rid of Mexico. They launched atatcks from the deserted Gulf coast territory and dropped off soldiers by ship at the Yucatan peninsula to assault Mexico from the east. But although the Portuguese had less ships as well as men, their colonial economy that was undisturbed in Canada and California benefited them and kept them rapidly training and supplying troops, and they created cannons from the Mexico factory fast as lightning.

After some major battles at the walls of Mexico, the Chinese breached the walls in the western part of Mexico, where the Portuguese had a trading post established. As the Portuguese gradually expanded their colonies, the Chinese repeatedly launched attacks down the Portuguese trade route. But the Port's defense system of walls and cannons, combined with numerous dragoons, musketeers, and cassadors tore the Chinese assaults to pieces. All the while, the Portuguese were rapidly growing and improving their navy in the Gulf while fending off suicide attacks from Chinese Fire Junks.

But the Portuguese economy was slowly draining. They soon realized that they need to make a big offensive. Even if Mexico got destroyed and they still had their small holdings in north Canda and California, the Chinese were bound to send out spies soon. So the Portuguese allowed the Chinese military to get through to the center of Mexico, where half of the Portuguese industrial factory complex was (the other being in California.) Durng this time, the Portuguese mobilized their army and navy. They bombarded the Chinese city from a distance from the water with monitors while raiding their fishing with caravels.

14 builders were sent north of the Chinese settlement to make a forward base. Raiders and artillery from Canada marched to the forward base. The petards and mortarts would break through the Chinese walls and the cavalry raiders would immediately charge in to the Chinese villagers directly next to the wall. Meanwhile down in Mexico, the Chinese were being given false confidence as they tore through the cities, nearing the Fort and factory complex. But the Portuguese had also sent some troops from the Mexican garrison to join up with the Californian regiment to the east of the Rocky Mountains, where they marched to the second Chinese forward base to the northwest of Texas.

The factory complex went down in Mexico just at the same time the Northeastern Portuguese assault broke through the walls. The Chinese army was all the way down in Mexico. The larger and more useful of their forward bases was going down. They had finally seen the two colonies and attempted to send cavalry, but were foiled by Portuguese Minutemen and halberdiers. Watching their city go down and seeing the Portuguese Navy arriving on the horizon in Hudson Bay amid the smoke and noise of the raid and shelling at land, the Chinese colonial government resigned from the America campaign.

Scenarios: Worldmap Series I: North America, Worldmap Series II: Caribbean, The Wasteland

Editor of: Orissa, Kill the Sun, Bathe in Hate

Current Projects: Fog of War, Island Hopping

[This message has been edited by Lord Berminator (edited 05-23-2009 @ 01:48 AM).]

StrategicJoeL
Skirmisher
posted 05-23-09 00:45 AM EDT (US)     519 / 804       
ImperialLobster. What part of this jolly world are u in and what timeframe will u usually play?
I run by central time in canada. And I play randomly. My schedule is really unpredictable.

organ gunz are chuck norris daddy!

[This message has been edited by StrategicJoeL (edited 05-23-2009 @ 00:46 AM).]

MannisEi
Skirmisher
posted 05-24-09 03:36 PM EDT (US)     520 / 804       
Canada lol.

I played a cool game today. Me ottoes, enemy russian.

It was my first attempt on the spahi FF, and the ending stats were pretty funny.

His military count was 40

Mine was 9

His favorite unit was musketeer (30).

My favorite unit was veteran spahi (8).

I won the game....

O o
/Ż/___________________________ _ __/
| ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!!!
\_\ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ Ż ŻŻ

[This message has been edited by MannisEi (edited 05-24-2009 @ 03:38 PM).]

Lord Berminator
Skirmisher
posted 05-24-09 03:41 PM EDT (US)     521 / 804       
LOL nice
So you like, picked his musks off here and there while raiding the shit outta his vils and booming with Fortress-age eco at home?

Scenarios: Worldmap Series I: North America, Worldmap Series II: Caribbean, The Wasteland

Editor of: Orissa, Kill the Sun, Bathe in Hate

Current Projects: Fog of War, Island Hopping
MannisEi
Skirmisher
posted 05-24-09 03:59 PM EDT (US)     522 / 804       
Yea thats pretty much it. I caught his hunters off guard and killed 13 villagers. And he was No Villager Rushing...

O o
/Ż/___________________________ _ __/
| ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!!!
\_\ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ Ż ŻŻ
CrazyLunatic
Veteran Musketeer
posted 05-24-09 05:58 PM EDT (US)     523 / 804       
lol... 8 spahi probably would beat 30 musks lol

QUACK
Lord Berminator
Skirmisher
posted 05-24-09 10:40 PM EDT (US)     524 / 804       
Lol it was prob like a few at a time

Scenarios: Worldmap Series I: North America, Worldmap Series II: Caribbean, The Wasteland

Editor of: Orissa, Kill the Sun, Bathe in Hate

Current Projects: Fog of War, Island Hopping
BoomKilledYou
Skirmisher
posted 06-03-09 10:12 PM EDT (US)     525 / 804       
This is for all you TAD 1.1a japs fans out there.

I was in a 3v3 russian ports and german vs otto japs japs(me) and the rush the otto. Long story short the otto basically died andjust screwed around the rest of the time. Well the game goes 40+ min and the other jap and i finally push through and beat the other 3. So the bottom line is

DON'T PLAY VS 2 JAPS IN A TEAM GAME

Eso=Dski867
PR 26
Kiv You're my Hero
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