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Topic Subject:War Stories Thread
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Lord Berminator
Skirmisher
posted 02-01-08 10:45 PM EDT (US)         
Yep, here I go again.

Well, this one I lost, but it was fun. It was 1v1 on Ozarks, I was Russia opponent was Sioux. We both aged to Colonial around same time. Ironically, we eneded up trying to build fbs int the same spot, and he destroyed mine. Pretty soon he attacked me, the same time I attacked him. I killed of a few villys, but my army was small since my initial fb had been stopped. The Sioux player didn't take down my TC yet. But soon, his next wave took it down. My CM bought me time for my villys to run away.

So I start rebuilding to the south. I get up 3 blockhouses and begin spamming strelets. It was hilarious, you shoulda seen it. This guy goes back to his base after taking my TC. I get strelets coming in at him from all sides, and he never knows where I am going to strike next. Its all hit an run. I constrict his villys into his town, weakening his eco. I snipe at a few villys, then retreat. And the funny thing is I'm attacking from 3 places at once, so he hardly ever caches me. I do this for at least 20 minutes after he took down my TC. He says to me, "You are the most annoying person I have ever played." I just laugh.

Eventually he masses and army large enough to defend and attack my weak rebuild at the same time. I may have lost, but it was great fun, and it was excellent micro practice.

I WANT YOU to post your stories now!! Participate, people!

Scenarios: Worldmap Series I: North America, Worldmap Series II: Caribbean, The Wasteland

Editor of: Orissa, Kill the Sun, Bathe in Hate

Current Projects: Fog of War, Island Hopping

[This message has been edited by Lord Berminator (edited 12-18-2010 @ 01:16 AM).]

AuthorReplies:
dOPplesaurus
Skirmisher
posted 12-01-08 07:25 PM EDT (US)     301 / 804       
IMO there is no code of honour in an FFA, other than "don't set up teams before the match" I like to just rush my neighbours, even when they resign and insult me for "rushing in an FFA" and "letting other people win"
Malavir
Skirmisher
posted 12-01-08 11:30 PM EDT (US)     302 / 804       
Alright, just played a game against Gen Joana, and _kim_, both in the G e n clan. They are sore losers.

Team game, on new england. Brits and germany versus france and russia.

I was germany, I catch russia trying to build walls, and take out the vills with 10 uhlans, then I find his/her villies. From 20 villagers to 5. Joana never recovered, we basically just sat back, I went to industrial, spammed super-dopples at France, and took out that army, brit kept pressure on russia, and we took the field.

What made it lovely was Joana's comments.

When I raided
"You coward"
"you idiot"
"you noob, you cowrd"
"Come and fight like a real man"
"loser noob"
"Coward"
"Cheater!"
"you cheating noob"

those were all spelled just after I took out the villagers.
Happened again when a uhlan raid took out the other villagers she had built back up.

She threatened to report me for cheating, I guess she doesn't know about seeing hunts through the fog of war. =]

"You may also need a few anus guns for someone like France"
-Cheese68
ImperialLobster
Skirmisher
posted 12-02-08 02:27 AM EDT (US)     303 / 804       
lol i thought it was just crazy women drivers, not crazy women players.


no offence saffah

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY
ON
≤≤≤≤≤See my YouTube channel for some crazy pointless crap!≥≥≥≥≥
Emperor_Kyle
Skirmisher
posted 12-02-08 07:01 AM EDT (US)     304 / 804       
Ugh, the same has happened to me with those two.
"stop killing my vils and fight **** it"

ESO2: Kyle_The_Brave
Clan: Proud Officer of Trỉρℓε ΣņτễηţϠ, [TΣ]

"Why make your own inspirational quotes when you can just read the side of O_Man's Ssips juices?" - A wise prophet
"The best way to die is to spontaneously combust during a drum solo battle with Lars Ulrich" - The Blair
ckei
Skirmisher
posted 12-02-08 08:59 AM EDT (US)     305 / 804       
Lol it has happened to me to. It was some random player(dont remember the name).

I was germany and he was India. The map was Deccan.

I suspected a 10/10,so I builded xbows and a few pikes.
Something must have gone wrong for him b/c at around 7 min I see 14 sepoys + 4 gurkha marching in to my base. I loled and let him attack my base. Meanwhile I sended all my uhlans to his base to raid.

40sec later he realized what has happened and says to me:

- U ^*/''+ noob, U dont have any balls to play fair. Seriously learn to play this games.

after that he resigns and in postgame he continues to call me "things".

O "All you big boys stay back and let me do my thaaaang"O
Colonel Jacob
Skirmisher
posted 12-02-08 04:54 PM EDT (US)     306 / 804       
I had a weird 1v1 a few months ago, just remembered.

It was me as Russia (which I suck at) vs Brits on Carolina. I had just been playing Dutch for the past 8 games, and I got supermapscrewed, so I ended up aging at 6:00 >_<. Anyway, at about 7:00 I attack with a whopping 13 STRELETS! The other player had towered and manor shielded his base, so it took my a loooong time to break to his TC. At this time, I had already reinforced my massive army with another amazing 5 cossacks and 7 strels! at 8:30 he resigned and called me a hacking, cheating noob.

I taunt 21'd and went to find another opponent.

"You came into my 'no india or japan' game yesterday and called me a noob who can't beat OP civs." -Pandar

"Yes, I got wtfpwnzrd by a revolution, just because it was totally unexpected."
~Mediolanus

My mace+coyotes can own your mom right off of your face, noob!

[This message has been edited by Colonel Jacob (edited 12-02-2008 @ 04:57 PM).]

LordKivlov
Royal Guard
posted 12-02-08 05:02 PM EDT (US)     307 / 804       
I think you made that up Jacob, Russia can't build strelets in anything but 10's unless they have a fort

Proud Citizen of Sovietcanuckistan
ImperialLobster
Skirmisher
posted 12-02-08 05:03 PM EDT (US)     308 / 804       
how on earth did u win that?!?! maybe u were playing vs me.....

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY
ON
≤≤≤≤≤See my YouTube channel for some crazy pointless crap!≥≥≥≥≥
Colonel Jacob
Skirmisher
posted 12-02-08 05:14 PM EDT (US)     309 / 804       
errr... Kiv, I was using shipments too, and some of the strels died when I got a heavily guarded treasure.

"You came into my 'no india or japan' game yesterday and called me a noob who can't beat OP civs." -Pandar

"Yes, I got wtfpwnzrd by a revolution, just because it was totally unexpected."
~Mediolanus

My mace+coyotes can own your mom right off of your face, noob!

[This message has been edited by Colonel Jacob (edited 12-02-2008 @ 05:16 PM).]

Emperor_Kyle
Skirmisher
posted 12-02-08 07:40 PM EDT (US)     310 / 804       
Wouldn't his TC be able to kill all your strelets in two shots?

ESO2: Kyle_The_Brave
Clan: Proud Officer of Trỉρℓε ΣņτễηţϠ, [TΣ]

"Why make your own inspirational quotes when you can just read the side of O_Man's Ssips juices?" - A wise prophet
"The best way to die is to spontaneously combust during a drum solo battle with Lars Ulrich" - The Blair
Cholesterol
Skirmisher
posted 12-02-08 09:08 PM EDT (US)     311 / 804       
i dont get it, were you attacking treasures that looked like TCs or were u attacking a TC?? I dont want to be picky like the other guys (oh they die in 2 shots, oh, ah, etc..) but strelets are pretty weak. I mean villagers can eat them faster than horses, on a full stomach =D
Arcane Ranger
Skirmisher
posted 12-02-08 09:18 PM EDT (US)     312 / 804       
Yeah, it takes around 25 strelets to one-shot kill a villager... And the tc would've one-shot killed strelets too... How DID you win besides your opponent being a complete and total noob?
ImperialLobster
Skirmisher
posted 12-03-08 02:24 AM EDT (US)     313 / 804       
i know this has been said before but how come their huge steel axes give off 2 damage?

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY
ON
≤≤≤≤≤See my YouTube channel for some crazy pointless crap!≥≥≥≥≥
Colonel Jacob
Skirmisher
posted 12-03-08 06:20 PM EDT (US)     314 / 804       
I was attacking a TC, but my explorer was with my men (noobish I know, but I had 13 strelets at like 8:00, I was desperate) and somehow the guardians started attacking me, which made my troop number odd.

The TC and outposts WERE owning me, and I was positive I would lose, but suddenly he just resigned. And thats how I won.

"You came into my 'no india or japan' game yesterday and called me a noob who can't beat OP civs." -Pandar

"Yes, I got wtfpwnzrd by a revolution, just because it was totally unexpected."
~Mediolanus

My mace+coyotes can own your mom right off of your face, noob!
ImperialLobster
Skirmisher
posted 12-07-08 08:30 AM EDT (US)     315 / 804       
hmm maybe he needed to go shopping... some people dont value their rank.

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY
ON
≤≤≤≤≤See my YouTube channel for some crazy pointless crap!≥≥≥≥≥
Last Minuteman
Skirmisher
posted 12-07-08 08:53 AM EDT (US)     316 / 804       
Hah, I've played General Joana and Kim before, a couple months ago. I remember they were really bad. One popped MM in discovery to try and raid, both aged up really slowly and of course were crushed by the Russian/German double team. It was hilarious. The player who lasted longer's favorite unit was minutemen.I have no idea how they reached MS.
As_Saffah
Scenario Reviewer
posted 12-07-08 01:40 PM EDT (US)     317 / 804       
I have had a couple games where my favorite unit was MM. Those games tend not to end well. Basically it's me=Ports, enemy Germans or Sioux, I get housed, get driven off hunts, etc. I'm hiding in my base, mining and collecting food crates like mad, only thing I can afford to make at that point are pike/xbow and MM, or hail mary to age up and send 5 dragoons. My only troops to delay the inevitable are CM. If they reach fortress before I do but after I've sent both TC worth of MM I am screwed.

Crunkatog on ESO
Bart331 balance suggestion: aztec: remove civ
Voltiguer: Ender, Sioux in 1.04 will be a top civ, no matter how many layers of Sioux goggles you put on
schildpad on Elephants: ...their mansabdar unit sucks so hard it looks like a black hole
Crunkatog on Steam.
Colonel Jacob
Skirmisher
posted 12-07-08 04:53 PM EDT (US)     318 / 804       
I've had games where the opponent's fave military unit was their explorer.

And it WASN'T the AI!

"You came into my 'no india or japan' game yesterday and called me a noob who can't beat OP civs." -Pandar

"Yes, I got wtfpwnzrd by a revolution, just because it was totally unexpected."
~Mediolanus

My mace+coyotes can own your mom right off of your face, noob!
As_Saffah
Scenario Reviewer
posted 12-07-08 06:36 PM EDT (US)     319 / 804       
That's called lagging out I think. Or falling asleep at the comp while you get reamed.

I played a compstomp against the Dutch once and his favourite unit was Li'l Bombard.

Crunkatog on ESO
Bart331 balance suggestion: aztec: remove civ
Voltiguer: Ender, Sioux in 1.04 will be a top civ, no matter how many layers of Sioux goggles you put on
schildpad on Elephants: ...their mansabdar unit sucks so hard it looks like a black hole
Crunkatog on Steam.

[This message has been edited by As_Saffah (edited 12-07-2008 @ 06:37 PM).]

Mudkips did 9 11
Skirmisher
posted 12-10-08 01:05 PM EDT (US)     320 / 804       
I was playing as the Turks against some Frenchie named Napoleone6969 (or something like that) who was playing as the British. I basically spammed him to death with Jannissaries. He was a Sergeant and I was a conscript. After I beat him, he started calling me "a shite" because according to him, I didn't build enough buildings and was somehow being cheap. Pretty bizarre insult considering I destroyed him.
Valckrie1
Veteran Musketeer (Content Contributor)
posted 12-10-08 02:23 PM EDT (US)     321 / 804       
Some guy's favourite unit was wardogs, he did a poor FF and so had to make do with doggies

SC2: Valckrie.Incarnate {Add me!}
Fear is only a four-letter word. Why be afraid?

Guides:
BMS | British Guide | BHM | RSFF | Rec Games
Arcane Ranger
Skirmisher
posted 12-10-08 04:46 PM EDT (US)     322 / 804       
Yeah same. Me and my clan mates were playing a 2v2 once, and one of the clan mates went afk. Favorite unit was an explorer. Funny thing was that, since he was ottomans, his villagers kept re-spawning, so he didn't get the "boot" thing.
Emperor_Kyle
Skirmisher
posted 12-10-08 07:54 PM EDT (US)     323 / 804       
Just played a fuuun 2v2.

Teams were me (master sergeant, China) and my clanmate (master sergeant, Brits) against a 2nd lieutenant (Brits) and a sergeant (Russia). The map was New England.

We started on the south side of the map, me being closer to the water. I aged with Summer Palace and made standard armies, and shipped more steppes. My partner made muskets and allied with Huron to make some mantlets (turned out being a bad idea, because they got trampled by raiding cossacks on the way to our fb).

We saw the opponents making an fb so we attacked it. My steppes ran over the strelets and longbows, and chu ko nu helped too. The lieutenant had some cav that my friend's muskets took care of, and mantlets got the buildings down quickly. Meanwhile, I was raiding the lieutenant with some other steppes.

Eventually they pushed us back, but not before we took a good chunk out of them. My partner made 4 docks and fish boomed, and all 4 of us aged to Fortress. I started making old han armies and forbidden armies, and my partner made muskets/longbows. The sergeant took the short booming period a step further by getting to Industrial, but with his fish, my partner followed him, at which point we were attacked.

Carded forbidden armies crushed the massed strelets and longbows, qiangs and muskets killed poorly-microed cav. They had barely any HI, so the little field in front of our fb quickly became a bloodied mess of massacred strelets.

We saw them trying to build a new fb, but we tore it down in seconds, with help from my friend's rockets. I got to Industrial and sent Old Han Reforms, which pumped up my qiangs so I could tear down whatever new blockhouse or stable I saw.

The lieutenant resigned, but the sergeant kept going. My partner got to Imperial and spammed longbows, and I made more cav because I noticed that he still refused to make much except strelets.

He resigned, blamed it on Canada, and left. My partner and I then agreed that Canadian bacon is good.

Stats

ESO2: Kyle_The_Brave
Clan: Proud Officer of Trỉρℓε ΣņτễηţϠ, [TΣ]

"Why make your own inspirational quotes when you can just read the side of O_Man's Ssips juices?" - A wise prophet
"The best way to die is to spontaneously combust during a drum solo battle with Lars Ulrich" - The Blair
As_Saffah
Scenario Reviewer
posted 12-10-08 08:18 PM EDT (US)     324 / 804       
Canadian bacon is actually pretty good...up here it's called ham

One of my favorite maps is Plymouth, the sheer number of sandwich board dorks you get with all the techs is hilarious. Huron Fish Wedding isn't so bad either.

Crunkatog on ESO
Bart331 balance suggestion: aztec: remove civ
Voltiguer: Ender, Sioux in 1.04 will be a top civ, no matter how many layers of Sioux goggles you put on
schildpad on Elephants: ...their mansabdar unit sucks so hard it looks like a black hole
Crunkatog on Steam.
oliandsam
Skirmisher
posted 12-11-08 11:15 AM EDT (US)     325 / 804       
Yesterday just played the most tense match of my life and i wasn't even in it!!! (sort of)

It was a 2v2 fairly nooby game all of us low ranks

i was trying out the ports

i did a simple ff

i shipped in mams and this is where the fun came in

an army of strelets had come to attack my ally he was worried but then my mams started saying "mmmmm tasty strelet" and "they are chewy"

i had really boomed and my army of cassadores was looking good. they had no army we did!!!

and then disaster happened... my p.c. blew up ... or more realistically aoe minimized and a pop up came saying would i like to restart my computer for an update. of course i refused and reloaded aoe.. and then the message came " aoe3 not responding"

i banged my fists hard on the pc

i swore a lot

and then went onto agecommunitey onto my account and refreshed it every 3 seconds.

after 30mins it came back saying we won!!!

i jumped up and down

i laughed

and then i went on to aoe and thanked my ally. even tho he was afk.

If you are reading this my ally I THANKYOU VERY MUCH

the reason why this was so tense is as my tenth game i was hopeing to get an alright win percent.

here is the stats

http://www.agecommunity.com/stats/GameStats.aspx?loc=en-US&GameID=d53a9a76-3e5b-432d-afd1-cee9685a0947&sFlag=2&md=ZS_Supremacy

so here is the lesson update your pc always before playing!!!!

eso name: oliandsam
rank: 1st luit
clan: some silly dutch one
"A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic."
Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography. - Paul Rodriguez
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