Chuck Norris looks under his bed at night for Coureur des Bois hopped up on villager market techs.
The reason why the Mississippi has so many bends in it? Not plate tectonics. Coureurs have been tripping over it every time they cross it.
Coureurs des Bois are the reason why Paul Bunyan started carrying an axe.
Q: What's the difference between male Coureur des Bois and female Coureur des Bois?
A: The toilet seats in the TC are down
Coureur des Bois check under their beds at night for Cree Coureur des Bois.
Q: How many Coureur des Bois does it take to build a stables?
A: One. One to build the stables, and the same one to pick off an army of Strelets and xbows that might cross his path.
One day some CdB were sitting in a tavern up in Quebec. In bursts P'tit Michel, all wild-eyed and caked with snow. "Grand-Jean's a comin', Grand-Jean's a comin!" He leaps over the bar, grabs a bottle of vermouth, drinks the whole thing, and disappears into the night. A general grumbling and muttered concern passes through the CdB at the tavern. Each picks up his rifle, checks it, puts on his greatcoat, and waits, curious but too terrified to leave the safety of the tavern. Pretty soon they hear the rumble of a distant stampede. It draws closer and they hear windows breaking and mules braying in terror. Finally, a great shadow blots out the moonlight in the saloon door. Said door is promptly blown off its hinges and in lopes a gigantic grizzly bear, on its back rides the biggest, hairiest, armed-est Coureur des Bois in all of Acadia.
"BRING ME A DRINK!" bellows the giant Coureur in a whisky baritone punctuated by the snap of a whip. The barkeep grabs a bottle of rum and slides it down the bar towards the bear-man. The giant breaks the neck off the bottle with his bare hands and finishes the bottle in one swallow. "ANOTHER" he yells. This time he doesn't wait for the barkeep, but shoots a hole in a keg of brandy on the wall and hauls it out with one hand, shotgunning it into his vast, hairy mouth. In the tavern, not a single CdB doesn't have his finger on a trigger somewhere.
Then the giant tosses aside the barrel and turns to leave. "Il n'y-a mie de temps," he grumbles under his breath. His eyes get lunatic-wide and he spits shrilly into the silent room, "Grand-Jean, he's a comin!" With that, the giant slaps the rump of his gigantic grizzly mount and they barrel through the broken door, out into the moonlight, and away. Never in history did more booted feet make more haste to get from one place as they did from the saloon that night.
Crunkatog on ESO
Bart331 balance suggestion: aztec: remove civ
Voltiguer: Ender, Sioux in 1.04 will be a top civ, no matter how many layers of Sioux goggles you put on
schildpad on Elephants: ...their mansabdar unit sucks so hard it looks like a black hole
Crunkatog on Steam.