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Age of Empires III Heaven » Forums » General Discussions » 1001 facts learned from aoe 3 v2
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Topic Subject:1001 facts learned from aoe 3 v2
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superayush
Skirmisher
posted 10-21-09 05:16 AM EDT (US)         
so again lets discuss the facts which aoe 3 teaches us

1)ranged units carried unlimited ammunition
2)a man with coyote fur can kill a cannon

carry on folks..

"when starting a war it is not what right that matters but
victory"
AuthorReplies:
kdubs201
Skirmisher
posted 12-20-09 09:59 PM EDT (US)     101 / 142       
-ships disappear into thin air when they are destroyed
-it is impossible to shot a gun until you are a certain distance from the enemy
-whales swim around in the same circle over and over again
-only 99 settlers are allowed to live in a colony unless you are the Germans
-settlers magically pop out of town centers with +10 xp
-explorers and their dogs can magically be revived if there is a friendly person next to them
-an archer can fire farther can a cannon
-settlers are really strong and can carry a blunderbuss, ax, saw, and a pick ax at the same time
-ships with iron armor(ironclads) are as strong as wooden ships
GreenKnight0111
Skirmisher
posted 12-31-09 06:20 PM EDT (US)     102 / 142       
--It was impossible to get rid of artillery by shooting the people manning it. You had to shoot the cannon itself 50000000000 times until it broke, at which point the men manning it would drop dead for no apparent reason.

--"Save the whales" is a load of bull. Whales are immortal, everyone knows that.

--And on a related note, whales constantly crap out unlimited gold.

Currently playing: AoE Online
Favorite civ: Celts
BurningSushi460
Scenario Reviewer
posted 01-01-10 00:27 AM EDT (US)     103 / 142       
Artillery:
- Everyone knew that cannonballs could run out so artillery was kept firing indefinitely by using 20 lb stones shat by the cannon crew of the day.

- Artillery horses can break all notionable laws of physics by jumping into a portal void when the cannon is readied to fire.

- Hats on the artillery crew had a tendency to hover behind them instead of rest on their heads.

Cavalry:
- Russian policemen lose every single notion of personal space in a charge when a lone cavalry archer joins their party. (The Kivlov oprichinik box)

- Ranged cavalry of the day were so crappy at their job of strafing, they always had to stop their horse completely in order to fire a shot.

- If 40 minutes went by, your elite cavalrymen wore breastplates, and they are of French blood, you are promptly labeled a dick by every commander against you.

Infantry:
- It wasn't just the military that was color coded, every freakin' object related to their order was drenched in a vomit-inducingly bright texture of the same color.

- If you are Russian or Chinese, even if you possess rifles and well-crafted muskets that were of a standard rivaling Britain, your bullets automatically digress to the stopping power of a BB bullet fired from a slingshot.

- Iroquois Tomahawks fire bullets from their axes.

Other:
- Obviously the standards of courting and marrying a woman have risen expedentially considering today. not two to three centuries ago, it would only cost one hundred pieces of steak to get a woman.

Actually it was originally called just Heaven, but then God sold the naming rights to Microsoft, so.... -GoForGoldenJarls

Astor: “Churchill, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.”
Churchill: “Madam, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

[This message has been edited by BurningSushi460 (edited 01-01-2010 @ 01:53 AM).]

Lost Knight
Skirmisher
(id: huntforcollossus)
posted 01-02-10 10:06 AM EDT (US)     104 / 142       
- People only used to be able to see a few yards in front of themselves
-you can build castles and forts in minutes
-there is no such thing as migration in the americas, animals only move if you shoot them
-you only bleed if you are shot
-Musket shots never miss, even though they are known for being one of the most inaccurate firearms in history

This is my signature. Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again.

And when he gets to heaven, To saint peter he will tell- One more soldier reporting sir,
I've served my time in hell.


Lol, that was funny. Lost Knight is my favorite bro in AoEIIIH - Eurotool
Lost Knight
Skirmisher
(id: huntforcollossus)
posted 01-06-10 03:44 PM EDT (US)     105 / 142       
-Settlers in the new world carried a pickaxe, a wood axe, a hoe (for the mill), a blunderbuss and a hammer and building materials.
-Somehow the armor of arkantos (the main character in the AOM campaign) can end up in mongolia as a treasure.
-japanese monks had smokke screens that allowed them to instantly teleport back to their town.

This is my signature. Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again.

And when he gets to heaven, To saint peter he will tell- One more soldier reporting sir,
I've served my time in hell.


Lol, that was funny. Lost Knight is my favorite bro in AoEIIIH - Eurotool

[This message has been edited by huntforcollossus (edited 01-06-2010 @ 03:45 PM).]

esam709
Skirmisher
posted 01-06-10 05:34 PM EDT (US)     106 / 142       
1 tree is enough to build 3 houses
Hoop Thrower
Skirmisher
posted 01-11-10 12:32 PM EDT (US)     107 / 142       
A quite good looking spanish chicken was one of the most succesful explorer of the early Discovery Age, he used to leave behind lots of equipments though as they don't fit a bird really.
It seems that a falcon (that's very sincere) also helped him in his discoveries on East Asia.

China found a really powerful ally in Germany the few times it found them. Once they allied any newly trained army generated income spontaneusly.
BurningSushi460
Scenario Reviewer
posted 01-11-10 06:46 PM EDT (US)     108 / 142       
Being an Asian person in TAD is great, especially when you're sociable in the West.

If you make friends with a Spaniard, he shows you the wonders of Fed-ex and Netflix, making deliveries and pornography reach your town much faster.

If you make friends with an Englishman, you get a lifetime supply of steroid injections.

If you make friends with a Frenchman, he teaches your workers to run faster, therefore working faster.

If you befriend a Portuguese man... He... He... Makes you use less wood? I don't got anything on this one other than tasteless infertility jokes.

If you befriend a Dutchman, your marijuana stash becomes slightly larger every few seconds, earning you more capital thanks to his lack of laws.

If you make friends with an Ottoman, he gives you glasses.

If you befriend a Russian, he sends you a motherload of vodka and viagra for good luck.

Actually it was originally called just Heaven, but then God sold the naming rights to Microsoft, so.... -GoForGoldenJarls

Astor: “Churchill, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.”
Churchill: “Madam, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.”
zach13
Skirmisher
posted 01-15-10 09:08 PM EDT (US)     109 / 142       
The French win

White people worked on plantations

Leafy green vegetables needed huge mills to make them into veggie powder

All soldiers carried torches to throw at buildings but some soldiers torches caused more destruction than others

Whenever a Chinese piece of artillery was destroyed it was mandatory to celebrate someone's birthday

Gold mines stick out of the ground in great quantity in varied locations

The asians figured out that european people liked weed and lured them in to their armies by letting them smoke it... And it's sad that this would have probably worked...

Powerful Mercenary swordsmen are expensive to train, and you have to be fighting with primarily rifles for them to be available and of any use to you
Cheap Plastic Rosary
Skirmisher
(id: D0ct0r Wh0)
posted 01-15-10 10:58 PM EDT (US)     110 / 142       
Cannon engineers don't get fed.

A massive stone wall only needs 5 wood a section to be made.

Apparently the New World could afford to ship you a thousand different things for free, including important, expensive technologies like medicine and refrigeration!

You don't need any money to improve plantations.

Apparently only 10 people could work a plantation or a small ring of crops around a mill.


10 people, or 5 people with 5 horses, or some combination of those, apparently could live inside of a house in reasonable, human comfort.

A cannon and its engineers need half of a house to live comfortably - as do several bandits and outlaws. Some outlaws need even MORE than half of a house!

Native Americans, some Asians, and even Jesuits don't require any houses at all! But there are a limited number of them.

Revolting against your mother country entails burning 1000 food and wood on a pyre that costs 1000 coins. After doing that, the fire magically spirits muskets and tan uniforms onto your villagers - meaning they drop all of their precious tools.

Factory workers never enter or leave their factories - so apparently, along with a wagon that can make an entire production plant, you also get a free shipment of Oompa Loompas.

...[T]he least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousandfold. -Aristotle, De Caelo

On the lips of the catechist the first proclamation must ring out over and over: “Jesus Christ loves you; he gave his life to save you; and now he is living at your side every day to enlighten, strengthen and free you.” - Pope Francis, The Joy of the Gospel

Call me out if I fail or seem to fail to live up to either of these. Either I will learn something, you will learn something, or we both will.
Lost Knight
Skirmisher
(id: huntforcollossus)
posted 01-23-10 04:36 PM EDT (US)     111 / 142       
unconscious explorers can see a small space around themselves.
A giant ottoman mosque costs as much wood as a house to build.

This is my signature. Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again.

And when he gets to heaven, To saint peter he will tell- One more soldier reporting sir,
I've served my time in hell.


Lol, that was funny. Lost Knight is my favorite bro in AoEIIIH - Eurotool

[This message has been edited by huntforcollossus (edited 01-23-2010 @ 04:37 PM).]

newworldorbust
Skirmisher
posted 01-24-10 04:21 PM EDT (US)     112 / 142       
You can take down anything if you try long enough.

Cannons have no downside, everthing else gets bonus when there around them thats all.
No_nickname
Skirmisher
posted 01-24-10 06:16 PM EDT (US)     113 / 142       
Just because a cannon is produced in a factory instead of a foundary, it becomes free.

Check out my YouTube channel for AoEO videos!
ESO2: No_nickname | AoEO: NoNick331
"anything less than 40 hours is nub men, me i go for like 76 hours the best as i can get to imp in 14 mins then go on holiday for 2 days then come back and make some mil or w/e" - bloodoats
BurningSushi460
Scenario Reviewer
posted 01-24-10 08:05 PM EDT (US)     114 / 142       
-Ottoman architecture and most of its natives all resemble the Spanish and Portuguese. Obviously this meant that Armenians and Greeks made up ES's Graphic Design Team that Ottomans didn't feel like being original.

-The ability to sustain one's self through peace and survival has obviously meant nothing to the settlers of the New World for the only things that ran through an 18th century man's mind was: 5X5, FF, UHLAN RUSH, CRATE STEAL, MUSKET RUSH, XBOW PIKE RUSH, RUSH, RUSH, 21, 21, 21, 21, BASHING, 21, 21, 19.

Actually it was originally called just Heaven, but then God sold the naming rights to Microsoft, so.... -GoForGoldenJarls

Astor: “Churchill, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.”
Churchill: “Madam, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.”
As_Saffah
Scenario Reviewer
posted 01-24-10 09:42 PM EDT (US)     115 / 142       
That reminds me of the AOE3 Keyboard


Crunkatog on ESO
Bart331 balance suggestion: aztec: remove civ
Voltiguer: Ender, Sioux in 1.04 will be a top civ, no matter how many layers of Sioux goggles you put on
schildpad on Elephants: ...their mansabdar unit sucks so hard it looks like a black hole
Crunkatog on Steam.
DukeLeto
Skirmisher
posted 01-24-10 09:45 PM EDT (US)     116 / 142       
No_nickname
Skirmisher
posted 01-25-10 09:46 AM EDT (US)     117 / 142       
Lol @ the lag and drop trick buttons

Check out my YouTube channel for AoEO videos!
ESO2: No_nickname | AoEO: NoNick331
"anything less than 40 hours is nub men, me i go for like 76 hours the best as i can get to imp in 14 mins then go on holiday for 2 days then come back and make some mil or w/e" - bloodoats
Lost Knight
Skirmisher
(id: huntforcollossus)
posted 01-25-10 03:43 PM EDT (US)     118 / 142       
That keyboard rules.

i like the N00b, smurf and pest list buttons!


This is my signature. Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again.

And when he gets to heaven, To saint peter he will tell- One more soldier reporting sir,
I've served my time in hell.


Lol, that was funny. Lost Knight is my favorite bro in AoEIIIH - Eurotool
newworldorbust
Skirmisher
posted 01-25-10 04:18 PM EDT (US)     119 / 142       
Ill explain how home shipments work.
Everything in your deck is sitting on a boat or in a store house somwhere near, but some jackass is keeping it from you because your country's royalty owns it.So you send a request by pigeon(epic pigeon of epic destiny, only 14 exsist) when royalty give you the ok they ship it to you. Or the teleportation thing.
Mariomasta RJK
Skirmisher
posted 01-26-10 06:32 PM EDT (US)     120 / 142       
The Egg came before the chicken
China truly is the most lame of all civs. No matter what you do, you will still make the game long, dragged out, and boring.

DISTISOP
ESO: Blitzkrieg_Mario
Prefered civs: Hell, I like them all.
Rank: TWC PR 18 (master sergeant) TAD PR 17, Vanilla PR 12

Clan: Triple Entente
Favorite games: Dofus, AoE 3, Tremulous, CoD 4, SSBB, Urban Terror
jds2012
Skirmisher
posted 01-26-10 07:06 PM EDT (US)     121 / 142       
I like the pest list as the space bar

Keep him from expanding. Keep him scared. Keep him making the wrong type of troops. Control the game, don't react to it.
-Ender_Ward
BurningSushi460
Scenario Reviewer
posted 01-29-10 00:49 AM EDT (US)     122 / 142       
Wild fauna and scruffy bandits are often the most cowardly, laziest bastards in the New World and Asia, only running at most a few yards for someone threatening their loot until they give up and walk back.

When Michael Phelps touches the AOE3 disc in his laptop, his ships can swim at a mach-5 speed through raging tides, land, and go through a breakfast sufficient in quantity to feed Ghana.

Obviously horses weigh over a ton seeing as fully-beared cannonballs can send their rider flying but the horse just rears its head up and falls down like it took a brander to the brain.

BurningSushi460: PEOPLE ON TRAIN TRACKS CAN'T BE RUN OVER BY TRAINS, KIDS! THE OLD MAN TOLD ME SO! LET'S GO TRY IT OUT!
Audience: Yeah! *everyone lines up on the edge of the New York subway station rail and jumps in unison*

Actually it was originally called just Heaven, but then God sold the naming rights to Microsoft, so.... -GoForGoldenJarls

Astor: “Churchill, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.”
Churchill: “Madam, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.”
Michael Phelps
Skirmisher
posted 01-29-10 02:54 PM EDT (US)     123 / 142       
Its true you know.
Lost Knight
Skirmisher
(id: huntforcollossus)
posted 01-29-10 03:44 PM EDT (US)     124 / 142       
Indians eat wood.

This is my signature. Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again.

And when he gets to heaven, To saint peter he will tell- One more soldier reporting sir,
I've served my time in hell.


Lol, that was funny. Lost Knight is my favorite bro in AoEIIIH - Eurotool
No_nickname
Skirmisher
posted 01-29-10 05:23 PM EDT (US)     125 / 142       
Indians dont eat sheep and llamas.

Check out my YouTube channel for AoEO videos!
ESO2: No_nickname | AoEO: NoNick331
"anything less than 40 hours is nub men, me i go for like 76 hours the best as i can get to imp in 14 mins then go on holiday for 2 days then come back and make some mil or w/e" - bloodoats
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