i don't remember flaming you for believing in god or saying things pro-religion taylorflame but if i did i apologise it was probably mean

its ok I was foolish

Here're my new university overalls which I'll be using on the labor day from here on onwards:



The overalls are a traditional thing to get when you're a first year student in the uni

Vair stylish Major. Albeit the hand in pocket kinda kills the formality =p

Cheesewiz: I think it's probably now your turn to apologise for that shocker.

I'm not dead either, although HG's software seems to be on its last roll of paper. Took me minutes to get to the reply page.

Anyway, since I've been a part of this community for a fairly long time I thought I should share a few minitweets from my life, Major_Helper-style but without the weather, the cakes and the photos:

Dec 2 - My birthday
Dec 3 - Signed into hospital for acute mental health care
Dec 4 - Wake up with a periodic door bell sound in my left ear
Dec 5-Jan 3 - Various drug tests, three different types of antidepressants, two anxiety-reducing meds and one for going to sleep.
Jan 4 - Overdose attempt from my mother, she is stomach pumped and signed into the same hospital I just left.
Jan 5-28 - Living at home with intense side effects, including vomiting, swollen body parts, numb face and intense tinnitus.
Jan 29 - Moved to relatives in Stockholm to get some peace and quiet
Feb 3 - My girlfriend's father collapses
Feb 5 - Stopped taking my meds without consulting my doctor because they practically made my life a hell.
Feb 7-9 - Intense backlash effects, such as more vomiting, insomnia, audible hallucinations, feeling like being squeezed together between two spike mats or being eaten alive by rats.
Feb 10 - Back in my hometown and the hospital again, yet another new medicine.
Feb 13 - New overdose from my mother
Feb 18 - Preliminary tests indicate my mother has cancer

I might also be diagnosed with Asperger's, and before these tweets I went through an eye disease, a grandfather and grandmother dying and the near-death of my father due to drug abuse. Not to mention I totally screwed up my job in London and have a big debt to pay.

Enjoy life when you can, because when it slaps you, it slaps you hard.

Holy cow

Wow, this place is brimming with activity.

Egypt? Libya anyone?

Dominoe Theory ftl.

I'm totally pro revolution in all of those places. People are fighting for their freedom. I can't bring myself to see that as a bad thing (tm).

you guys should sign up

http://aoe3.heavengames.com/cgi-bin/forums/display.cgi?action=st&fn=2&tn=38310&f=2,,,10&st=0

Hugs for oliver and his family. That whole winter sounds absolutely brutal for you.

Can you get some kind of temporary medical forbearance on loans until you at least get stabilized?

IDK how these things work abroad, but at least in 'Murica you could apply for a forbearance on loans until you found a job or resolved your finances.

Thanks for the hugs, As_Saffah. Don't worry about my economy, I've saved up enough to keep me afloat for a while. All medical treatment in Sweden, including medicines, is free over a certain limit (~$200). Doesn't include dental care, though.

Good news is my new meds seem to work alright. No side effects 'cept for a bit of drowsiness and dry mouth, but I still have to wage battle with the hospital to receive proper eye treatment. I really hate the arrogance some doctors can display. (Dr Nick not included.)

I really hate the arrogance some doctors can display. (Dr Nick not included.)

goddammit kumar

Hey Oliver, while my problems were never as severe as yours I'd like to just let you know that it does get better. Just stick with the medicine.

I do know what sudden withdrawal from SSRIs can do. I did that without doctor permission as well.

If you need someone to talk to hit me up.

True dat. I had three SSRIs in my body at the time. I was prepared for anxiety, but nothing compared to that.

Now I'm taking another thing called SNRI. My doctor thinks I'm a strange case. I should apparently not be able to have the attention span and stamina I have in this condition. She suspects I have some sort of "psychotic side track" in my head which needs to be calmed down. I began taking medicine for that yesterday. For those not familiar with such terms, that does not mean I'm a psychopath. It means freaky things like hallucinations, voices in your head and thoughts resembling "word salad". A selection of my own include "castration olympics", "provincial wizardry" and "oatmeal recruitment".

Makes you wonder what goes on in your head beyond immediate consciousness ...

[This message has been edited by oLiver (edited 02-27-2011 @ 02:53 PM).]

so she thinks you might be bipolar or hypomanic? not surprising, a lot of bright creative people are on that spectrum. Makes finding a good antidepressant really difficult, most will exacerbate the manic/paranoid episodes.

As for Asperger's it's also pretty common, but not all people with traits end up coming to clinical attention. It does mean you may struggle with depression for the rest of your life. If your brain is wired differently from other peoples, you will find it exhausting and unrewarding to try to fit in normal society. Leads to burnout and depression that's difficult to treat, because the primary cause (the Asperger's) is untreatable.

Your best bet is to find a neuropsychologist who specializes in adult Asperger's and work out accommodations for the things you need to be productive and healthy in the workplace, and at school. That's important to keep your moods balanced - be productive, engaged, and motivated to grow and interact.

Here's another hug for the road and glad to hear that you have some reserves set aside. It's good that you live in a country where universal health coverage is a priority. Much more cost effective to treat illness and keep people functioning at work and school, than letting them go bankrupt and lose everything, then go on disability aid and rot to death in a tiny rented room.

Your mom and family will also be in my prayers. Things are all coming at you at once and I hope she too will find peace and healing from all this.

[This message has been edited by As_Saffah (edited 02-28-2011 @ 01:38 AM).]

I don't know what she thinks, honestly, and it's not advisable to diagnose a patient in the middle of a depression. Asperger's is the closest bet but I don't recognize myself in the lack of social skills and difficulty with language. The only thing I can say for sure is that the older I have become the more alien I feel in today's society, almost to the point of no longer understanding life at all.

My case might be as simple as a somewhat intelligent child being forced to grow up too quickly, shoulder too much responsibility and learn too many hard lessons too soon.

Anyway, I don't want to convert this thread into a personal diary. You can always find me on my blog, or my g-mail, which is my name (oliver pershav) with a dot in between. Thanks again for all the support and kind thoughts.

surely there is
no substitute
for company
my mom's ripping
off her hands
one flake at a time
all her children left the house
and left her all alone
but just like she'd tell me
things get better
just wait
and you'll see

take one day at a time
everything else you can leave behind
only one thing at a time
anything more really hurts your mind
i don't want for us to
take pills
anymore
not that it's bad
i don't want for us to take pills
because we're stronger
and we don't need them

21st Birthday tomorrow. FU*KING STOKED MAN!

Only if I can get rid of this cold I could enjoy it more. :\

Where is the general Saloon invite to the piss up? .

Any recommendations on beers and ales?

Lots if you were in the UK. .

Spring must be here as the temperature has hit double figures (Celsius not Fahrenheit), coming back from college today I had the window down, my shaded on and the music blasting, and due to the relatively clear roads over the Downs, my foot down. Spoilt only by having to spend £75 filling up when I got home in preparation for my trip to Newcastle later this week.

Now I just need to wait a month or so so that I can drive home like that for the other 4 days of the week when I'm at work instead of college.

In honour of spring I thought I would write steal a poam ():

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here
Life is skittles and life is beer
I think the loveliest time of the year
Is the spring, I do, don't you, of course you do
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me
And makes every Sunday a treat for me

CENSURED DUE TO EXTREME ANIMAL CRUELTY

Hi AoE3H, what's up?

not very goddam much, right now

Bored at work, too much work but it's all mind numbing trial and error on fixing various project-halting issues.

Was planning on coming into work this weekend to catch up.

Instead, the roomies have planned a busy social weekend out of town and I'm expected to not only drop everything and go, but also pay for much of it and work the party like a hostess.

I just want to curl up in bed and cry...